batskeets | I am the master of whine.

I can't sleep. I have this annoying little canker sore inside my mouth, and I tried to clean/disinfect it a bit and it kinda started to swell. It's going down, albeit slowly.

I got this e-mail earlier this evening about Evolution (which was kind of why I worked on the new version so much tonight) and it kind of reminded me of the reasons why I'm so, so, sick of that site. This kid said that she liked my site and that it was one of her favourites, and then she kind of bitched about how I don't update enough, and how it's *such* an incredible drag, and blah blah blah fishcakes.

I guess it wasn't the content of the message as much as it was the way she said it. Because yeah, I *know* I haven't updated nearly enough. But she sounded so indignant about it, as if I OWED it to her to update the page. And yeah, I realize that I do have an audience that likes my work and wants to see more, but for fuck's sake, I don't *owe* anybody an update. I have a life, and I have other interests, and consequently, I might actually want to think about something *other* than freakin' Sailorjupiter once in a while.

Is anybody paying me to run my small potatoes anime fan site? Hell no. The only compensation I get is the opportunity to search through bitchy e-mails from tongue-tied twelve-year-olds who want me to post more scans, in the hopes that I'll find *one* e-mail that has something good to say, or that registers any semblance of intelligent thought. So no, I don't *owe* anybody a bloody thing when it comes to that web site.

I guess that, in sum, Sailormoon fans just have an incredible aplomb for making me feel wholly unappreciated. It wasn't always like this, but now I just end up pissed off or annoyed whenever I have to deal with this damned site. I'm tempted to say it's because my more mature counterparts have since moved on to bigger and better things, or at least different anime. And I've pretty much moved on too, as evidenced by my negligence in maintaining that old site.

But y'know why I'm *still* dealing with this crap now? Because I'm doing a total re-vamp. I'm re-designing the entire site *and* doing content updates, because I figure that after 5 years, I owe my "fans" at least that much before I abandon the page for good.

And of course, that sounds stupid, because I just got done bitching about how I don't owe them *anything*. I guess I'm just too nice/soft-hearted/nostalgic for my own good.

See, I should be spending my free time on things I enjoy. Like for instance, I need to start drawing for Hidenka 18 again. I've actually thought out the concept over the past few weeks, and it's getting to be really cool. It's one of the few story ideas I've ever had where I've got a beginning and middle, but *not* an end. (usually, I know exactly where I want to go with it, and am just too impatient to fill in the middle part) I just need to, uh, draw it. And I need to get my stupid, stupid scanner to work again. Damnit.

I've decided that I'm going to be uncharacteristically fangirlie and write an e-mail to Wil Wheaton, because I'm a dork. And because he seems to really appreciate his fan mail. And lord knows I need to feel appreciated right now. ;ppppp

Now I've got the munchies. I'm going to go back to bed though, and try to ignore it.