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What's expected of a lady
Aug. 3rd, 2007 10:43 amI've had this rant in my head for a while now... long enough that I *may* have already posted about it--and if so, forgive me--but here I go anyway:
When you're a female of the species, it's hard not to think about your appearance. Our pesky cultural standards seem to dictate that we must, even when we don't consciously want to. It becomes ingrained.
That alone makes me cranky. I don't really want to be waking up in the morning and having THAT be one of the first things to come to mind, by default. If I don't feel like dealing with my appearance that day, then I should have the freedom to just roll out in whatever's comfortable and be done with it. Having that nagging sense of, "oh, gosh, you're not going to leave the house like THAT, are you?" is an annoyance that I don't need. As if society hasn't dreamed up enough other ways to make women feel guilty about trivial things!
More irritating is that those expectations bleed into the workplace. My old job was a blessing in this way: I could show up in a giant sweatshirt and no makeup, or arrive all done up in some fun new outfit, and it made no difference. Now that I'm here in CorporateLand, I *have* to think about how I dress every weekday morning, whether I like it or not. Nothing serves to make a workday morning worse than being forced to do *yet* another thing that you don't want to do.
However, I also don't feel that women should be expected to shun all concern about their appearance, as some kind of silent protest against that cultural standard. Sometimes I *like* to play with the pretty makeup colors, or put on something more stylish, or have my winter scarves and hats match my outfits. I'm artistically inclined, I like color. And yeah, sometimes there are days when I'd like to get a more positive response from people, and face it, people *are* nicer to you when you look cute. It's not right, but it happens.
And yet, when you look too put-together, you get snap judgments labeling you as vain and self-centered, even if you're just having fun or experimenting. It's another one of those lose-lose situations that women have to put up with, much like the old virginity question: "if you haven't, then you're a prude, but if you have, then you're a slut."
I've seen women who tout their lack of adornments as empowerment, and I've also seen women who flaunt their sexuality and call *that* empowerment. I've also seen people in both groups arguing over whether or not the other group's approach *is* empowering. Thing is, both of those tactics are reactions based on an existing cultural standard that women didn't put into place. People do those things out of some attempt to rail against that standard, but not necessarily because they want to do that thing.
Thing is, it's not about doing what's expected of you, or actively NOT doing what's expected of you. It's about doing what you genuinely feel like doing, when you feel like doing it. It's about not being bullied into one action or another by society, or men, or even other "empowered" females. It's about taking an action, without worrying about the standards that others have set for you.
THAT is empowerment.
------
And now, on a completely silly note... WWII: the abridged version for Gamers!
When you're a female of the species, it's hard not to think about your appearance. Our pesky cultural standards seem to dictate that we must, even when we don't consciously want to. It becomes ingrained.
That alone makes me cranky. I don't really want to be waking up in the morning and having THAT be one of the first things to come to mind, by default. If I don't feel like dealing with my appearance that day, then I should have the freedom to just roll out in whatever's comfortable and be done with it. Having that nagging sense of, "oh, gosh, you're not going to leave the house like THAT, are you?" is an annoyance that I don't need. As if society hasn't dreamed up enough other ways to make women feel guilty about trivial things!
More irritating is that those expectations bleed into the workplace. My old job was a blessing in this way: I could show up in a giant sweatshirt and no makeup, or arrive all done up in some fun new outfit, and it made no difference. Now that I'm here in CorporateLand, I *have* to think about how I dress every weekday morning, whether I like it or not. Nothing serves to make a workday morning worse than being forced to do *yet* another thing that you don't want to do.
However, I also don't feel that women should be expected to shun all concern about their appearance, as some kind of silent protest against that cultural standard. Sometimes I *like* to play with the pretty makeup colors, or put on something more stylish, or have my winter scarves and hats match my outfits. I'm artistically inclined, I like color. And yeah, sometimes there are days when I'd like to get a more positive response from people, and face it, people *are* nicer to you when you look cute. It's not right, but it happens.
And yet, when you look too put-together, you get snap judgments labeling you as vain and self-centered, even if you're just having fun or experimenting. It's another one of those lose-lose situations that women have to put up with, much like the old virginity question: "if you haven't, then you're a prude, but if you have, then you're a slut."
I've seen women who tout their lack of adornments as empowerment, and I've also seen women who flaunt their sexuality and call *that* empowerment. I've also seen people in both groups arguing over whether or not the other group's approach *is* empowering. Thing is, both of those tactics are reactions based on an existing cultural standard that women didn't put into place. People do those things out of some attempt to rail against that standard, but not necessarily because they want to do that thing.
Thing is, it's not about doing what's expected of you, or actively NOT doing what's expected of you. It's about doing what you genuinely feel like doing, when you feel like doing it. It's about not being bullied into one action or another by society, or men, or even other "empowered" females. It's about taking an action, without worrying about the standards that others have set for you.
THAT is empowerment.
------
And now, on a completely silly note... WWII: the abridged version for Gamers!
