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I'm not going to lie. Wushu is frustrating me quite a bit these days. I suspect the only people who'd fully understand what I'm talking about are Phil, and maybe Ng, but here it goes anyway:
I've been wearing two hats when I go to wushu practice: that of a competitor, and that of a coach. In previous years, I only had to worry about being a competitor. I did kind of a sloppy job at it, but that was mostly because I was overweight, lazy, or having problems in my personal life.
Still, I always knew that I could come to wushu every day, and focus on myself. In fact, I pretty much *had* to, because I didn't always get a lot of personal attention, so I had to figure out a lot of things on my own. I didn't have to worry about anyone else, though, so it was easy, as long as I could stay motivated. Being self-directed is something that I'm generally good at.
Now, however, there's the whole thing of coaching, and practice has stopped being about my own training. Now it's, make everyone do basics and combos, run around trying to teach everyone their forms, and *maybe* squeeze in a few jumps or the occasional section of my form, if I'm lucky. I feel that I'm not improving at all, because I don't really get to practice that much. I wouldn't complain if I were *choosing* not to train more, but I don't really get to make the choice here.
I know that, when Phil was coaching, he also took a great deal of time to train on his own, outside of practice. I used to ask myself, "how on earth does he find that much time to spend in the gym every day?" and I still don't know the answer to that. I only have some of Phil's self-discipline, a small percentage of his expertise, and I sure as hell don't have the kind of time that he had.
This isn't to say that I don't like teaching, though, don't get me wrong, because it's pretty fun. We have some *great* new blood this year; they're self-motivated, and they're dedicated, and they work hard. I respect that a lot, and I want to help them any way I can. But, I feel like I currently have enough time to either be a decent competitor, or be a decent coach. I've been trying to do both, but I think that I just end up doing a half-ass job at each, instead of doing one or the other well.
I don't want to repeat the disappointment I felt after competing at CMAT last year, because that sucked. A lot. :( But I want the whole team to do well, both new and old. Quite a few of these kids have natural talent--more than I probably ever had--and they deserve whatever chances we can give them, if they're willing to stand up and take hold of them.
Yeah, I know, complain complain. I'll get over it. Or work it out. Or something. ;p
I've been wearing two hats when I go to wushu practice: that of a competitor, and that of a coach. In previous years, I only had to worry about being a competitor. I did kind of a sloppy job at it, but that was mostly because I was overweight, lazy, or having problems in my personal life.
Still, I always knew that I could come to wushu every day, and focus on myself. In fact, I pretty much *had* to, because I didn't always get a lot of personal attention, so I had to figure out a lot of things on my own. I didn't have to worry about anyone else, though, so it was easy, as long as I could stay motivated. Being self-directed is something that I'm generally good at.
Now, however, there's the whole thing of coaching, and practice has stopped being about my own training. Now it's, make everyone do basics and combos, run around trying to teach everyone their forms, and *maybe* squeeze in a few jumps or the occasional section of my form, if I'm lucky. I feel that I'm not improving at all, because I don't really get to practice that much. I wouldn't complain if I were *choosing* not to train more, but I don't really get to make the choice here.
I know that, when Phil was coaching, he also took a great deal of time to train on his own, outside of practice. I used to ask myself, "how on earth does he find that much time to spend in the gym every day?" and I still don't know the answer to that. I only have some of Phil's self-discipline, a small percentage of his expertise, and I sure as hell don't have the kind of time that he had.
This isn't to say that I don't like teaching, though, don't get me wrong, because it's pretty fun. We have some *great* new blood this year; they're self-motivated, and they're dedicated, and they work hard. I respect that a lot, and I want to help them any way I can. But, I feel like I currently have enough time to either be a decent competitor, or be a decent coach. I've been trying to do both, but I think that I just end up doing a half-ass job at each, instead of doing one or the other well.
I don't want to repeat the disappointment I felt after competing at CMAT last year, because that sucked. A lot. :( But I want the whole team to do well, both new and old. Quite a few of these kids have natural talent--more than I probably ever had--and they deserve whatever chances we can give them, if they're willing to stand up and take hold of them.
Yeah, I know, complain complain. I'll get over it. Or work it out. Or something. ;p
