Ho-ly crap.

I. Am. SO DUMB. O_O;

I can't believe how much I just set myself up for more potential heartache and misery than I even care to contemplate. I'll probably end up regretting what I've just done, unless it turns out in the way that I'm hoping it will. But even then, I might end up regretting it later, because there are still a myriad of ways for it to become horrendous and screwed up and upsetting even I clear the most immediate hurdle.

BUT, if the planets all align, and everything goes the way I'm hoping it will, from start to finish, it will all be 100% WORTH IT.

You see, I did about 3.5 hours worth of driving this evening, and Dan and Amber were unconscious for a good chunk of that, and I know from my summer in Crotchester that when I'm driving, and nobody's talking to me or anything, I start thinking like CRAZY. I had the most insane train of thought over the course of the drive back from Wilsonville. But, it was also deadly serious, and I came to some potentially eye-opening conclusions. But of course, right now I'm still trying to figure out which of those actually make sense, and which were just completely cracked-out conclusions born from sheer paranoia.

So, I guess that's part of the reason why I'm such an idiot to have done what I just did. I should have probably sorted out all the crap I thought about tonight before taking actions based upon it. So if it's going to come back and bite me in the ass, then I've probably earned it.

Don't worry though, guys, I'm not doing anything *too* crazy. In fact, I think pretty much all of the people who read this journal won't be at all affected by it. In any case, I'll probably explain one of these days, so have patience.

(and no, James, it has *nothing* to do with you. ;ppppp)

But anyways, yeah. If you have a minute, cross your fingers for me. I will probably need it.

-----

I just realized that I still haven't posted about what I was going to post about in the Angry McPhee post. But you know, I don't really feel like talking about that anymore, cos it's not bugging me now. I guess the "Angry" in Angry McPhee has worn off. Feh. Maybe some other time.

And on to lighter things, I had fun times up at Dynee and Amy's. :D We made good time on the drive up there, and arrived only a few minutes after 6. Once everyone was there, we played out a How To Host a Murder game, and they cooked some very interesting vegetarian food for us. (It was a hippie/free-love themed murder mystery, so the food was also in line with the theme.) The main course was this weirdo rice/spinach/cheese/nuts casserole thing that was actually really good! And I don't even like spinach most of the time, so that's saying quite a lot.

The game was fun too... I found it interesting that the person who was actually guilty didn't find out that they were the actual killer until the very end, when everything was revealed. Oh, and my character in the game was this Rastafarian Jamaican type lady, so half the time I was channeling Miss Cleo. CALL MEH NOW FOR YER FREE READIN'! ::asdflaskdfhasdlk:: It was an evening well spent. Mad props to our lovely hostesses!

And in closing, I want to take a moment to say that Cory and James are two of the most awesome people on god's green earth. I feel incredibly fortunate to have such completely wonderful, compassionate, and enjoyable people to share my everyday joys and woes with. They are the bestest roommates EVER. Das right, j0. Y'all betta recognize.

And with that, I set my clocks back, and sleep.

Time to die!

I am going to commit seppuku on the spot within a few hours, I can already tell. I have to do my storyboard today.

Now see, Mr. Storyboard requires 50 or so drawings of decent quality, which is going to MAKE ME NUTS. I used to really like plain ol' pencil drawing, but after years of computer graphics manipulations, now I can't draw without going all crazy and picking it apart before I'm even done with it. It's like "::sketchsketchsketch:: Ugh, that looks like crap! ::eraseeraseerase:: ::sketchsketch:: God, that STILL looks like crap! ::eraseeraseerase::..." lather rinse repeat, ad finitum.

So imagine me going through this 50 separate times today. Imagine me going completely CRAZY over it. It could certainly happen. Bwah.

Anyway, time for a shower and food.

Kyaaaaaaa!

I am only on my second panel, and that's because my head HURTS. x_x And my eyes hurt. And my neck feels like it can barely hold my head upright. This is not a good state to be in, especially when I have to draw things or do other eye-intensive activities. ;_;

But hey, at least I had some gyoza to eat this afternoon. Good food almost makes up for other crappy things.

Anyhow, I suppose I should get back to work. Not that it will do me a lot of good, at this rate.

Gak. x_x

Now, 23 panels later, I am about halfway done. Which is pretty good, since my plan was to get at least half done by midnight and then go to bed. James says he's going to be up until 12:30, so I'm thinking I could get as much as 2/3rds done by bedtime. Then I'll be in bed early, and get up at 7:30 or so, and finish off the last 1/3rd with time to photocopy the cards and everything.

My head still hurts like a bitch, even after taking some Excedrin, so I'm pretty grumpy. But at least I'm managing to get work done in spite of that fact.

OMG, James just noticed that I missed QAF while I was downstairs hanging out and watching The Wizard of Oz and It's The Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown! GAAAAHH! How could I forget?! Sigh. I am such a crappy fangirl sometimes. ;_; But hey, I can always catch it on Tuesday night, and in letterboxed format, even. Hee hee hee! :D And I've probably seen the ep already anyways, from when Alyson brought her tapes to Y-Con. But feh, that sucks. I should have remembered.

Okay, I'd better get back to work now. The more I have done before bedtime, the better.