Ho-ly crap.

[batskeets]

I. Am. SO DUMB. O_O;

I can't believe how much I just set myself up for more potential heartache and misery than I even care to contemplate. I'll probably end up regretting what I've just done, unless it turns out in the way that I'm hoping it will. But even then, I might end up regretting it later, because there are still a myriad of ways for it to become horrendous and screwed up and upsetting even I clear the most immediate hurdle.

BUT, if the planets all align, and everything goes the way I'm hoping it will, from start to finish, it will all be 100% WORTH IT.

You see, I did about 3.5 hours worth of driving this evening, and Dan and Amber were unconscious for a good chunk of that, and I know from my summer in Crotchester that when I'm driving, and nobody's talking to me or anything, I start thinking like CRAZY. I had the most insane train of thought over the course of the drive back from Wilsonville. But, it was also deadly serious, and I came to some potentially eye-opening conclusions. But of course, right now I'm still trying to figure out which of those actually make sense, and which were just completely cracked-out conclusions born from sheer paranoia.

So, I guess that's part of the reason why I'm such an idiot to have done what I just did. I should have probably sorted out all the crap I thought about tonight before taking actions based upon it. So if it's going to come back and bite me in the ass, then I've probably earned it.

Don't worry though, guys, I'm not doing anything *too* crazy. In fact, I think pretty much all of the people who read this journal won't be at all affected by it. In any case, I'll probably explain one of these days, so have patience.

(and no, James, it has *nothing* to do with you. ;ppppp)

But anyways, yeah. If you have a minute, cross your fingers for me. I will probably need it.

-----

I just realized that I still haven't posted about what I was going to post about in the Angry McPhee post. But you know, I don't really feel like talking about that anymore, cos it's not bugging me now. I guess the "Angry" in Angry McPhee has worn off. Feh. Maybe some other time.

And on to lighter things, I had fun times up at Dynee and Amy's. :D We made good time on the drive up there, and arrived only a few minutes after 6. Once everyone was there, we played out a How To Host a Murder game, and they cooked some very interesting vegetarian food for us. (It was a hippie/free-love themed murder mystery, so the food was also in line with the theme.) The main course was this weirdo rice/spinach/cheese/nuts casserole thing that was actually really good! And I don't even like spinach most of the time, so that's saying quite a lot.

The game was fun too... I found it interesting that the person who was actually guilty didn't find out that they were the actual killer until the very end, when everything was revealed. Oh, and my character in the game was this Rastafarian Jamaican type lady, so half the time I was channeling Miss Cleo. CALL MEH NOW FOR YER FREE READIN'! ::asdflaskdfhasdlk:: It was an evening well spent. Mad props to our lovely hostesses!

And in closing, I want to take a moment to say that Cory and James are two of the most awesome people on god's green earth. I feel incredibly fortunate to have such completely wonderful, compassionate, and enjoyable people to share my everyday joys and woes with. They are the bestest roommates EVER. Das right, j0. Y'all betta recognize.

And with that, I set my clocks back, and sleep.

Comments

[kinchan.livejournal.com]

*crosses her fingers* Take a few days to sort things out before you do anything drastic, okay? ;_;

Deja Vu!

[merchanta.livejournal.com]

I know *exactly* what you're talking about. In fact, I now leave NPR on when I drive any sizeable distances. I can't think through talk radio, but I think wwwwaaaaaayyyyy too with music or in silence. I usually consider my driving conclusions to be really enlightened and euphoric, and maybe on some level they are. In fact, I'm tempted to get in the car and go have me a big ol' hunk of driving meditation right now, because it just makes me so happy. But, rarely do I come away from it with anything rational, or anything I can share with the general population. Last time I had some serious driving insight (sometime this past spring), I decided I was going to join the Peace Corps. I came straight home, downloaded applications and started asking people for recommendations. Luckily, the process was too long and involved for me to continue through it based upon my driving insight alone. And sans my driving insight, my impression of the Peace Corps was "whoa! 27 months of my life dedicated to one single event! That's pretty heavy!" It's no small decision. So as a mechanism for protecting myself from randomly giving away my worldly possessions or recklessly chunking my perfectly good career, I have to limit my driving meditations to maybe once a year or so. I'll be a homeless bum with no friends if I do it on every road trip. :)