Well, that happened.
Apr. 13th, 2014 09:02 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
batskeetsUggghhhh. I think this is the worst I've felt after a game all season. I guess that's not saying much, because I haven't really felt bad at all after any of our games, even when we lost by a wider margin. I don't feel super-awful, or anything, and I know I didn't play badly last night.
I'm mostly just mad at my uterus, because I could have been better if my head was clearer and I'd had a little more energy, instead of fake Midol-induce energy. I'm usually super-mellow and positive during bouts, and I make an effort to be that way--I feel that I play better coming from a calm and uplifting perspective. Last night definitely came from a more emotional place, however, most likely thanks to Aunt Flo. I think I worked harder when I was on the track, but I don't know that I played any better. So, I just have this vague, shitty feeling of wanting to be better for my team, and knowing that I did a lot, but also that I probably could have done more on a different day.
There also was a moment early in the game last night, when I was apparently in a good place to do offense for our jammer, but I didn't see it at the time, so I didn't do it. So, we came off the track, and she immediately went, "right there, you could have hit [so-and-so] out of the way and I could have gotten through, and I was like calling out to you, so you really should just watch out for that," and so on.
The way this teammate gives me feedback usually rubs me a little wrong in general, but in that moment, that was pretty much The Last thing I needed to hear in the middle of a bout. I need to stay positive and think about the good things I'm going to do next, not dwell on little mistakes. Our entire bench needs to, in fact, and our captains even said as much.
So, I basically blew it off and walked away, because if I hadn't, I'd have just stewed on it and feel crappy about it, and there was no time to feel bad about myself or anything I did during that game.
I'm probably going to have a conversation with her today or tomorrow that amounts to, "please don't do that with me during a game, especially when we need to be keeping our bench positive," so she at least knows why I blew it off, and that it wasn't about her so much as it was bad timing. I don't know if she'll understand it, and I'm kind of expecting her to get defensive, so I'm not exactly looking forward to it. This gal and I are pretty fundamentally different people, and having been teammates with her for close to a year, I suspect we may not ever completely understand each other.
One of the neat things about being in a team sport is being exposed to people whom you'd probably never have cause to be around under normal circumstances. A lot of the time, you get to know them, and they surprise you in a really neat and positive way. But, sometimes, there's the down side.
I'm mostly just mad at my uterus, because I could have been better if my head was clearer and I'd had a little more energy, instead of fake Midol-induce energy. I'm usually super-mellow and positive during bouts, and I make an effort to be that way--I feel that I play better coming from a calm and uplifting perspective. Last night definitely came from a more emotional place, however, most likely thanks to Aunt Flo. I think I worked harder when I was on the track, but I don't know that I played any better. So, I just have this vague, shitty feeling of wanting to be better for my team, and knowing that I did a lot, but also that I probably could have done more on a different day.
There also was a moment early in the game last night, when I was apparently in a good place to do offense for our jammer, but I didn't see it at the time, so I didn't do it. So, we came off the track, and she immediately went, "right there, you could have hit [so-and-so] out of the way and I could have gotten through, and I was like calling out to you, so you really should just watch out for that," and so on.
The way this teammate gives me feedback usually rubs me a little wrong in general, but in that moment, that was pretty much The Last thing I needed to hear in the middle of a bout. I need to stay positive and think about the good things I'm going to do next, not dwell on little mistakes. Our entire bench needs to, in fact, and our captains even said as much.
So, I basically blew it off and walked away, because if I hadn't, I'd have just stewed on it and feel crappy about it, and there was no time to feel bad about myself or anything I did during that game.
I'm probably going to have a conversation with her today or tomorrow that amounts to, "please don't do that with me during a game, especially when we need to be keeping our bench positive," so she at least knows why I blew it off, and that it wasn't about her so much as it was bad timing. I don't know if she'll understand it, and I'm kind of expecting her to get defensive, so I'm not exactly looking forward to it. This gal and I are pretty fundamentally different people, and having been teammates with her for close to a year, I suspect we may not ever completely understand each other.
One of the neat things about being in a team sport is being exposed to people whom you'd probably never have cause to be around under normal circumstances. A lot of the time, you get to know them, and they surprise you in a really neat and positive way. But, sometimes, there's the down side.
