Keeping it real, keeping it simple

[batskeets]

Well, 2013 has hit like a ton of bricks. I mean, things are pretty good, but right now? Aaaaggghhh, so overwhelmed. It'll pass.

Anyhoo, resolutions are really not my jam, because I'm not always realistic with goal-setting, which usually means aiming way too high, and setting myself up for failure and/or a marked loss of sanity. So I'm blatantly ignoring SMART goal-setting parameters, and just rattling off some general things I'd like to work on in 2013.

Things I want in the new year:

• More money. I'm on my way with that, and things are definitely looking busy in the coming weeks--to the extent that I wish there were more of me to go around--but yeah, more cash please.
• Self-care. I do so well at everything when I take care of myself. But, sometimes, I still fall off the wagon on this, and I want that to happen less. I think the big piece I'm missing is asking for and accepting help when I need it. Which, agh. We'll see.
• More structure. Self-employment has led to kind of a weird existence without a great deal of regularity to it. Sometimes, I'm up early and in the office all day, other times (like today) I'll sleep in until 10am, putter around til Noon, and then find myself working again late at night. I hope that living with Joe will help with some of that, because splitting time between two places isn't doing me many favors.
• To be more present. I think this has always been a problem for me, but interestingly, scrimmage has made me more aware of it. When my life gets stressful and overly busy, then 70% (or less) of my brain  is where my body is, because my mind is zooming around elsewhere. I don't want to miss out on 30+% of the wonderful things that are happening in the Here and Now.
• To better express myself. I'm lucky to have Joe and a few friends in my life who make it easier for me to talk about what I'm thinking and how I feel. I'd love to be able to cast that net wider, though, and actually say what I'm thinking in general, rather than just overthinking it and letting it go unsaid
• Skating faster, stronger, and smarter. I want to be the best damned High Roller I can be, and make my teammates proud, and have a really fun time doing it. And I'm going to work my ass off to get there. OF COURSE.

Things that I did pretty darned well in 2012:

• Got noticeably better at saying No. I wasn't so sure about this at first, but there actually were fewer days when I ran around to eleventy-billion different places, because I thought I could do All The Things. If I didn't feel up to doing something, I gave my apologies and didn't dwell on it. I'll keep working at this.
• Pushed some boundaries, and found respect for others. With a lot of thinking, and the support of people around me, I found some beliefs that were kind of stupid and not very constructive for me. But, I also figured out that some of the boundaries I have exist for a reason. I've pushed myself really hard this year, and found that I can expand beyond my old boundaries, if I do it intelligently.
• Built a business that doesn't suck! It's actually going pretty well, even. I have a new work space now, and I did have to downsize a bit on square footage, but I love everything else about it. I'm doing work that I believe in, and that I'm excited about, and although I'm not raking in riches, I can eke out a simple existence. This year will be all about being more efficient, more networked, and more awesome.
• Got drafted to a roller derby team. And not just any team, but the best team EVER. I now skate alongside people on travel team who used to intimidate the crap out of me. I now skate with my old Wreckers coach, who is still robably the most positive influence I've ever had in derby. It's an honor to skate with them, and it feels good to work at something and have it really, truly pay off.
• Maintained a really awesome relationship. We communicate well, we support each other, we have fun together. Discussions that were horrible in past relationships were shockingly easy with Joe. A lot of my past relationships took a huge downturn by the 2-year mark (whether I wanted to admit it to myself or not), but Joe and I have made it past 2 years, and I still get kicky feet when I see him. Teehee. :D
• Kept in awesome shape year-round. Even harder than losing weight is maintaining a loss, and I feel like this was easier in 2012 than it's been previously. Also, I usually gain 10-15 pounds during the holidays, but this year, I made a pact with myself to keep any gain at 5 pounds or less. And wouldn't you know? I actually succeeded. Woo!

Comments

[katlyn.livejournal.com]

<3s now. More later.

[december-clouds.livejournal.com]

I think your goals are a lot like mine. I could use more structure, more money, and more self-care. But I also need to get better at saying no (which was your 2012 goal).