OKCupid is dumb

[batskeets]

And here's why!

This whole "Ice Breakers" thing, where they essentially recommend that you write to a person, knowing nothing about them other than the fact that they like something you happen to like. While I understand the importance of common interests, there are plenty of obnoxious people in the world who happen to enjoy one thing that I also enjoy.

People who comment about how cute I am in pictures, and who obviously didn't read my profile? If I wanted to be objectified, I could just go to a bar. At least then, I'd have a beer in my hand.

One aspiring suitor described me as an "X-Men conocer." I sincerely hope that is an obscure English word that I haven't yet learned, because if that's supposed to be "connoisseur," I may just have to punch something.

And speaking of word abuse, Anxious and Eager? NOT INTERCHANGEABLE.

On the flip side of the word abuse angle, there are the dudes who try *too* hard to sound smart. Overusing pretentiously-long words isn't quite as irritating as using more conventional words incorrectly... but it's close.

Dear Unattractive OKStalker: "i want to marry you" is not an effective conversation starter. THANKS.

Another dude wrote to me... for the sole purpose of asking me if I'm looking to do freelance web development work. Because I'm *obviously* on OKCupid for the purpose of getting jobs. Riiiight.

And finally, Paul Atreides is apparently hiding out in Portland and looking for love. Well, at least that one's more funny than it is irritating.

Comments

[phasmaphobic.livejournal.com]

"And speaking of word abuse, Anxious and Eager? NOT INTERCHANGEABLE."

Fucking signed on this one. One of my biggest pet peeves of communication today.

[phasmaphobic.livejournal.com]

and zomg Paul Muad'Dib

[alleycatsphinx.livejournal.com]

That Atriedes guy is kinda hawt. I can't put my finger on it, but it seems like there's something special about him...

[hooverdam.livejournal.com]

"conocer" means to meet, to make an acquaintance, to know (in the sense of being familiar with a person, as opposed to knowing information) in Spanish, so maybe he's looking for Wolverine

[katlyn.livejournal.com]

My most amusing story from OKCreepy: the day after signing up, I got an email about my "Quiver Matches", and one of them was a very good friend of mine. Even more amusing is I have a not-very-secret crush on him, and he and I have already slept together... in the same bed. :>

I think the freakier thing was when I put out an ad on Craigslist. Never, motherfucking EVER again.

The good thing about those places is that you get to meet people outside of your typical social circle. Always a bonus.

[ghost-girl.livejournal.com]

Well, out of all of those options, I think your best bet is Paul Atreides. At least he only wants a political marriage.
;D

[archmage.livejournal.com]

OKCupid only seems to ever send me ladies who don't want guys, or those that I find seriously unattractive. I think it's mocking me.

[monkeyhole.livejournal.com]

...there are plenty of obnoxious people in the world who happen to enjoy one thing that I also enjoy.

OH HOLY CRAP

This is my #1 complaint about nerds. They think that if you have the same hobbies, you instantly must be best friends. GAH. And they won't leave you alone, and then you accidentally stab one in the throat and the cops chase you across state lines and... uh... whoops, overshare.

Thank goodness people like you and my other friends exist -- people who share my interests, and are *also* awesome human beings.

[sarapada.livejournal.com]

I CANNOT believe that your comment had no references to Paul Atreides! Where is your Dune love?

[monkeyhole.livejournal.com]

I don't want to be overzealous in my love for Dune. People might start to fear me. And, as we all know, fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.

And I wouldn't want to obliterate my friends. Well, maybe Richard.

[skeets.livejournal.com]

This is my #1 complaint about nerds. They think that if you have the same hobbies, you instantly must be best friends.

GOD, this describes probably 98% of anime nerds I've met. I almost don't even want to *mention* ever liking anime anymore, because the moment I do, the Irritating Anime Fan-dweeb persona will suddenly burst out of the other person's chest and try to eat me.

[dakania.livejournal.com]

My two lain tattoos...

I cover them up in the environment most people think they would be most acceptable:

around geeks.

Fuck anime fans. =p

oh god, OKCupid.

[pyrobaby.livejournal.com]

oh god, I used OKCupid a little bit at the beginning of the year for the fuck of it, and the icebreakers cracked me up. Sometimes it would say stuff like "you both like (interest I specifically said I DON'T like")" -_-

I was hoping maybe it wouldn't be as bad somewhere where the pool is larger - not a lot of actual Japanese people use it, and suitable gaijin men in Osaka are...well basically nonexistent, so I get a lot of nerds in top hats (WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH THE TOP HATS?? is this the new fedora or something?? UGHGGGGGH) and beards (barf) wanting to explain curry rice to me and shit. I met up with one dude who at least was interesting and not like LOL JAPAN, but 'I was unattracted to him' would be the biggest understatement of all time. THen you have the overseas nerds who send me alliteration haikus and all other amounts of incredible fail. I still get messages every now and then from the quickmatch thing (I get a lot of 4/5s apparently) and it's always a cavalcade of UGGGGGGHHHHHH.

There was a thread on Something Awful's forums a bit back where people made fake girl accounts, and the guys were all amazed to discover just what utter loser idiots men are to women, and HOW MANY. At least they were sympathetic afterwards....

I stopped using it after a bit. Besides, if I want random "WHAT THE FUCK" dates, I get enough of em on the street, like the pushy Nigerian, or the Pickup Instructor...

You should totally go for Paul, man. Especially if we're talking 80s Kyle McLachlan hair Paul. <3

[cmsunflash.livejournal.com]

"X-Men conocer"...HAHAHAHA. Oh MAN. I seriously lol'ed on this one. And the guy who wants to marry you. Wow, these are priceless!

[madeofmeat.livejournal.com]

I am totally loving my vacation from OKC. The funny thing is that even though I blanked my profile months and months ago, I still get icebreaker messages from the data that used to be there.

[kitsileya.livejournal.com]

Poor spelling is unnattractive, I'll grant you that. BTW, that should be connoisseur :-p~~~

[skeets.livejournal.com]

Haaahaha. That's what I get for being a jerk about the Internet!

I can certainly forgive the occasional typo, but if he screws up a word so badly as to make it unrecognizable, he probably shouldn't be using it!

[randvek.livejournal.com]

Maybe he meant "X-Men crooner." What, exactly, have you been singing when you do karaoke?

[bodhranist.livejournal.com]

'Paul' really needs to have photoshopped his eye color.

Other than that, yeah. The icebreakers thing is horrible, and if there's one thing that internet personals have taught us, it's that there's no shortage of dates available - *if* you're interested in socially maladept (usually) men.

[dakania.livejournal.com]

To be quite fair, I am a girl who can't get dates ANYWHERE, and the only person I've found to be decent in the last gazillion years, she found me on OK Cupid.

THAT SAID...

Paul Atriedes might be your only hope. =p

[xplo-eristotle.livejournal.com]

Be a guy - then you won't get any offers.

(Okay, this is totally not true and I met Jessica on OKCupid, but still, the online dating experience is vastly different for men and women.)

[lillilah]

Yep, I'm not so big on OKCupid, especially the IceBreakers. I actually get messages from a fair number of nice people, but since I'm not terribly interested in dating (which is why I'm listed as unavailable), there isn't much going on there. It was creepy how much of an avalanche of mail I got for the brief time I was listed as available. Lots of creepy messages from people who clearly hadn't read my profile.