Skinny

[batskeets]

So, people have definitely been noticing that I'm losing weight, which is cool, of course. There aren't many things better than busting your ass towards a goal, and having that effort recognized, right? The thing that's throwing me off is the words they choose to use... namely, "skinny."

Morgan made an offhand comment, as I was leaving her place a few weeks ago, that I was getting "skinny." Nina and Patrick both said on Sunday that I look "skinny." I dropped in on my jewelry designer client yesterday to get a necklace fixed, and she said I looked "skinny."

"Skinny" is a word that I've always reserved for other people. You know the type: the people who can actually pull off cigarette pants. The girls who walk runways in Size 2 designer sample garments. The boys who can clear out an entire pizza and still be all jutting elbows and bony knees. The people who have no curves and are all angles.

I have never in my life been any of these things. I was the two-bottle baby, I was the chubby teenager, I am the lady with deep bra cups and a round butt. I mean, yeah, I *am* getting slimmer these days, sure. But skinny? REALLY?

I am 165 lbs. of big-boned, German-built, wushu-powered muscle. I'm average height and a double-digit dress size. I have maybe 10 lbs. of fat that I'd like to get rid of, but even when that day arrives, I will most definitely *not* be skinny. I couldn't be skinny if I tried.

Yeah, it's probably silly of me to be weirded out by this. It's only a word, just like slender, or husky, or whatever else. Still, I can't help it. If you'd told me 5 years ago that anyone would be using the word, "skinny," to describe me, I'd have laughed my ass off. In fact, I still might.

Comments

[lillilah]

I will admit that I thought this when I last saw a photo of your face. I wonder if this is an issue with the shape of your face changing as you lose weight or just change in general. You aren't actually all skin and bones, but people can be uncomfortable with change so perhaps we all think "oh, no! She is different!" and then worry. "Skinny" is definitely a word loaded with "she doesn't eat enough" overtones. It isn't silly to be weirded out by this.

[skeets.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I've never carried much of my weight in my face, so that would probably look skinny before the rest of me would. :)

You're definitely right about the "you don't eat enough" overtones, though. I've made a point of doing this right in recent months, by eating a normal amount of food and staying active, so the suggestion that I don't eat enough, even implied, bothers me a lot.