Thick and thin

[batskeets]

Being thin-skinned really blows. Maybe I just had too many people being mean to me when I was a kid, but I take things personally.

Things that aren't said with the intention of being hurtful? They still hurt. People offering me advice when I haven't asked for it? Makes me feel like I'm being regarded as an ignorant person with bad judgment.

It's not as though my judgment is that BAD, either. I avoid substance abuse, I pick good friends, I don't invite senseless danger into my life. But, after having "a certain somebody" trying to tell me what to do for the past 28 years, my ability to take advice from *anybody* is pretty thoroughly squashed.

I want to be understood and respected, like anyone. I want to be listened to. I want to be trusted to make choices based on my own judgment. I want to ask questions when I decide that I need help, not simply have people thrusting advice upon me when they don't know the whole story.

When I don't feel listened to, trusted, or respected, I get mad. I could try not to get mad, but then I wonder if I'm just letting myself be stepped on. Staying quiet and holding in the negativity doesn't work either. So where do we go from there?

This probably doesn't make a lot of sense, but we all know how good I am at explaining things (i.e. "not very"), so there you have it.

Comments

[sarapada.livejournal.com]

It totally makes sense, and I completely empathize.

[skeets.livejournal.com]

Silly thing is, there are times when I probably *should* listen to a piece of advice that I'm given, but I don't, because I've had advice thrust on me so often the rest of the time that my first reaction is to blow it off. :/

[helloandie.livejournal.com]

if you ever figure out where to go from there, let me in on it. i am the same way, just not quite as eloquent as you.

[december-clouds.livejournal.com]

I can understand too. I am super thin skinned... I don't cry at comments, but they really annoy me and get to me. And also when I'm in the US, people tend to treat me childishly because I look young for my age and they're always offering me "advice" when they're really the last people who should be giving it!

My favorite quote lately (thinking of being thin skinned) is "If your enemy says something bad to you, do like in the kung fu movies: lean your head back, laugh loudly and then stop suddenly."

Even thinking of this makes me laugh.