minor brain dump
Jan. 6th, 2005 11:18 amI love the bagel shop across from my work. I had been crying before going in to get myself some breakfast, but apparently I didn't compose myself quite enough, because the girl behind the counter noticed. She asked me if I was okay. Of course, I said yes, because I wanted everyone to back off at the time, but she was still quite insistent on giving me a free cup of tea. It was such a genuinely nice thing for her to do that I nearly started crying again.
As for the crying part, well, you don't get to know why. Not yet, anyway. I'm not so much in the mood for discussing it, because I'm only loosely keeping my composure as it is, and I think my coworkers would be a little weirded out if I collapsed into a sobbing mess.
Actually, they would probably send me home and tell me to not worry about work, and to come back when I feel better, because they're sweeties. But nuts to that, because I need the hours. :p
Is it bad to keep something to yourself because you don't want other people to get involved? Because whomever you told about it would either A) get upset or B) try to reassure you when you don't want to be reassured? Because you suspect they'd try to help you, or bail you out, even though you really don't deserve to *be* bailed out? Because you did something idiotic a while ago, and you think that you should shoulder the resulting burden yourself, because you brought yourself to that point?
Well, don't worry about it--nobody's dying or losing an arm or anything. I mainly mention this in case anyone actually tries to interact with me today, because I probably won't be as receptive.
And, well, I couldn't rave about the incredibly nice bagel girl if I didn't put the situation in some context. I should really look for a tip jar the next time I'm in.
As for the crying part, well, you don't get to know why. Not yet, anyway. I'm not so much in the mood for discussing it, because I'm only loosely keeping my composure as it is, and I think my coworkers would be a little weirded out if I collapsed into a sobbing mess.
Actually, they would probably send me home and tell me to not worry about work, and to come back when I feel better, because they're sweeties. But nuts to that, because I need the hours. :p
Is it bad to keep something to yourself because you don't want other people to get involved? Because whomever you told about it would either A) get upset or B) try to reassure you when you don't want to be reassured? Because you suspect they'd try to help you, or bail you out, even though you really don't deserve to *be* bailed out? Because you did something idiotic a while ago, and you think that you should shoulder the resulting burden yourself, because you brought yourself to that point?
Well, don't worry about it--nobody's dying or losing an arm or anything. I mainly mention this in case anyone actually tries to interact with me today, because I probably won't be as receptive.
And, well, I couldn't rave about the incredibly nice bagel girl if I didn't put the situation in some context. I should really look for a tip jar the next time I'm in.
no subject
Date: 2005-01-06 11:25 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-01-06 11:35 am (UTC)Im in this exact point today, I feel like all this crap I'm dealing with is a result of my own manisfestations but yet I am a wreck about it all, if I could go just 1-2 days without crying randomly that would be great
no subject
Date: 2005-01-06 11:49 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-01-06 12:01 pm (UTC)...i don't have much more comment than that. it hurts too much.
no subject
Date: 2005-01-06 12:19 pm (UTC)Just my two cents; take it with a grain of salt. Do what you need to do to take care of yourself, and the rest will take care of itself.
no subject
Date: 2005-01-06 12:38 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-01-06 03:02 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-01-06 03:11 pm (UTC)I hope not. I'm pretty bad about it myself. In fact, I keep things I'm going to be doing to myself a lot of time in case I screw it up and don't want people getting involved in my screw up. It's like being proactive about being private.
no subject
Date: 2005-01-06 03:13 pm (UTC)kudos to the bagel girl!
no subject
Date: 2005-01-06 04:36 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-01-06 04:46 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-01-06 06:12 pm (UTC)crappy stuff
Date: 2005-01-06 06:23 pm (UTC)They won't judge you. They won't try to help you. They won't try to bail you out. They'll probably listen and recognize that this thing you're dealing with is a serious issue.
They MAY help you work out a plan to deal with the situation, but that part isn't really mandatory.
no subject
Date: 2005-01-06 09:12 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-01-07 02:06 am (UTC)