![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
batskeetsThe halloween ep of South Park is on. And by that I mean the one which features Korn acting like the Scooby Doo gang. "I think I've got this groovy mystery SOLVED!" ::rotfl::
I should by all rights be in bed, but I'm not. Ice cream and good TV and my Halloween costume have had me busy. My costume is officially D-O-N-E, BTW. And that's all I'm gonna say, cos I think most of y'all are probably going to scratch your own eyes out if I talk about cosplay much more. ;p
Something I've found myself thinking about a lot these days is... well, when is it too late? How long am I allowed to go without calling up a friend before I'm not considered a friend anymore? How much time do I get before inviting somebody out with me stops being normal and starts being awkward? How long does it take before past deeds can be forgiven? How long does it take before other people realize that you're not the same person, or that you don't feel the same way about everything that you used to?
When is it too late to patch things up?
And then there's the kicker: does anyone even give a flying crap whether you try to fix it at all? Should you just not even bother, because nobody's going to care even if you try your best?
Sometimes I wonder about that. At this point, does it even matter anymore, or should I just leave well enough alone? It's not as though I'm miserable in my current existence... far from it, in fact. But you know me, I don't deal well with it when somebody doesn't like me. *ESPECIALLY* when I think that there might actually be a justifiable reason for it.
But, at the same time, I get so sick of trying to make everyone happy. It seems unfair for me to go out of my way to try and make up for lost time when the other person doesn't seem especially excited or even interested. Some folks are great, and I can just talk with them like I haven't been gone a day, but others... not so.
It's never good to live in the past, but unfortunately, I seem to be quite good at that when it comes to some things. But, I think I've learned to cope with it to some degree. The past has pretty much no bearing on the majority of my current existence beyond the normal level, but there are a scant few points that still remain sticky, and it keeps me from doing what I'd really like to do.
I guess this is retarded for me to be writing about, when I should really be talking to someone who actually might know about some of the things I'm referring to. But then, we come back to the making up for lost time thing, because if I only get to talk to someone once a month, I shouldn't be wasting that time on this crap when I'm probably the only person still thinking about it at all.
Sorry for the depressive talk, but you know me--I can't go *too* long without a little residual angst. And I guess I don't have a lot to be especially angsty about right now, or else I wouldn't be resorting to digging up older stuff.
And, as a wise man once said: "You cannot see my funny until I am ready." Not that it really fits, or anything. I just felt like saying it :p
Time for bed.
Addendum: I must take a moment to mention KRIS, who spent an earlier part of today complaining that *some* of us post too much inane crap on LJ, so yes, here is some deep 'n' angsty posting JUST FOR YOU, Mr. Whinypants! PRESENT-O! ;ppppppp
Addendum Part 2: I just noticed my incredible lack of emoticons when I start talkin' all serious-like. Yeah, you know you miss 'em. ^_-
I should by all rights be in bed, but I'm not. Ice cream and good TV and my Halloween costume have had me busy. My costume is officially D-O-N-E, BTW. And that's all I'm gonna say, cos I think most of y'all are probably going to scratch your own eyes out if I talk about cosplay much more. ;p
Something I've found myself thinking about a lot these days is... well, when is it too late? How long am I allowed to go without calling up a friend before I'm not considered a friend anymore? How much time do I get before inviting somebody out with me stops being normal and starts being awkward? How long does it take before past deeds can be forgiven? How long does it take before other people realize that you're not the same person, or that you don't feel the same way about everything that you used to?
When is it too late to patch things up?
And then there's the kicker: does anyone even give a flying crap whether you try to fix it at all? Should you just not even bother, because nobody's going to care even if you try your best?
Sometimes I wonder about that. At this point, does it even matter anymore, or should I just leave well enough alone? It's not as though I'm miserable in my current existence... far from it, in fact. But you know me, I don't deal well with it when somebody doesn't like me. *ESPECIALLY* when I think that there might actually be a justifiable reason for it.
But, at the same time, I get so sick of trying to make everyone happy. It seems unfair for me to go out of my way to try and make up for lost time when the other person doesn't seem especially excited or even interested. Some folks are great, and I can just talk with them like I haven't been gone a day, but others... not so.
It's never good to live in the past, but unfortunately, I seem to be quite good at that when it comes to some things. But, I think I've learned to cope with it to some degree. The past has pretty much no bearing on the majority of my current existence beyond the normal level, but there are a scant few points that still remain sticky, and it keeps me from doing what I'd really like to do.
I guess this is retarded for me to be writing about, when I should really be talking to someone who actually might know about some of the things I'm referring to. But then, we come back to the making up for lost time thing, because if I only get to talk to someone once a month, I shouldn't be wasting that time on this crap when I'm probably the only person still thinking about it at all.
Sorry for the depressive talk, but you know me--I can't go *too* long without a little residual angst. And I guess I don't have a lot to be especially angsty about right now, or else I wouldn't be resorting to digging up older stuff.
And, as a wise man once said: "You cannot see my funny until I am ready." Not that it really fits, or anything. I just felt like saying it :p
Time for bed.
Addendum: I must take a moment to mention KRIS, who spent an earlier part of today complaining that *some* of us post too much inane crap on LJ, so yes, here is some deep 'n' angsty posting JUST FOR YOU, Mr. Whinypants! PRESENT-O! ;ppppppp
Addendum Part 2: I just noticed my incredible lack of emoticons when I start talkin' all serious-like. Yeah, you know you miss 'em. ^_-
