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(side note: "AEV" is a former TT skater who opted not to try out this year)
ME: ...because I'm going out of town this weekend.
AEV: Oh, cool. Where are you going?
ME: Oh, it's the travel team retreat.
AEV: Oh, yeah, I keep forgetting about that! Are you excited?
ME: Yeah. I think I'll be more excited once I get there. I'm just waiting for the moment when I stop feeling like I'm going to have a nervous breakdown, heh.
AEV: Yeeeeah, that never really goes away.
--
I do know that the vast majority of my current anxiety is about the time commitment, and the fact that other new demands on my time have cropped up recently, so I probably wouldn't be freaking out as much if I were adjusting to just the extra couple of practice hours for TT. But TT obligations, plus starting a new part-time job maybe a week before tryouts, and then getting sick during the week following, has me feeling like I'm scrambling to catch up on things, much less catch a moment for myself.
Also, on the other end of the spectrum, one of my other skate buddies who is on TT this year said that things are usually bonkers at first, but then everything smooths out in June when home teams go on break. So, it's definitely not going to be like this for the entire season. I'm just hoping that this initial adjustment period calms down after the retreat this weekend. I feel like I'm not having as much fun with TT as I could be, so far. It hasn't even been two weeks, though, so, again, adjusting.
I also need to keep reminding myself that, no, I do not need to have 100% attendance for both my home team and TT. It takes 80% to get rostered, and that buffer exists for a reason. I'm allowed to take a day off. That's good advice for life, really. ;p
And, there's a small amount of anxiety about the fact that I've effectively put myself out there as one of the best skaters in the league. I haven't historically been a super-competitive person, and while I do know that there are things I'm good at, or even expert-level at, I've never really been brave enough to try to claim that I'm the best at something. There's been a lot of talk at practice about trying new things and stepping out of your comfort zone, and I know that they're referring to skills and techniques, when they say that. But, when I think about it, merely trying for and getting onto TT is a huge step out of my comfort zone.
The whole thing is a lot like throwing myself into the deep end, and seeing if I can swim. I'm usually pretty good at rising to occasions, though, so it'll be okay if I work hard, be smart, and stick it out. It's worked for me in the past. I just hope it involves less crying and crippling self-doubt than the first few months of Fresh Meat in 2011 did, heh.
ME: ...because I'm going out of town this weekend.
AEV: Oh, cool. Where are you going?
ME: Oh, it's the travel team retreat.
AEV: Oh, yeah, I keep forgetting about that! Are you excited?
ME: Yeah. I think I'll be more excited once I get there. I'm just waiting for the moment when I stop feeling like I'm going to have a nervous breakdown, heh.
AEV: Yeeeeah, that never really goes away.
--
I do know that the vast majority of my current anxiety is about the time commitment, and the fact that other new demands on my time have cropped up recently, so I probably wouldn't be freaking out as much if I were adjusting to just the extra couple of practice hours for TT. But TT obligations, plus starting a new part-time job maybe a week before tryouts, and then getting sick during the week following, has me feeling like I'm scrambling to catch up on things, much less catch a moment for myself.
Also, on the other end of the spectrum, one of my other skate buddies who is on TT this year said that things are usually bonkers at first, but then everything smooths out in June when home teams go on break. So, it's definitely not going to be like this for the entire season. I'm just hoping that this initial adjustment period calms down after the retreat this weekend. I feel like I'm not having as much fun with TT as I could be, so far. It hasn't even been two weeks, though, so, again, adjusting.
I also need to keep reminding myself that, no, I do not need to have 100% attendance for both my home team and TT. It takes 80% to get rostered, and that buffer exists for a reason. I'm allowed to take a day off. That's good advice for life, really. ;p
And, there's a small amount of anxiety about the fact that I've effectively put myself out there as one of the best skaters in the league. I haven't historically been a super-competitive person, and while I do know that there are things I'm good at, or even expert-level at, I've never really been brave enough to try to claim that I'm the best at something. There's been a lot of talk at practice about trying new things and stepping out of your comfort zone, and I know that they're referring to skills and techniques, when they say that. But, when I think about it, merely trying for and getting onto TT is a huge step out of my comfort zone.
The whole thing is a lot like throwing myself into the deep end, and seeing if I can swim. I'm usually pretty good at rising to occasions, though, so it'll be okay if I work hard, be smart, and stick it out. It's worked for me in the past. I just hope it involves less crying and crippling self-doubt than the first few months of Fresh Meat in 2011 did, heh.
