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You've gotta make a statement of intent
Aug. 6th, 2010 12:27 pmSo, softball was an amusing romp, indeed. Swinging a bat for the first time in over ten years felt *really* foreign, at first, but once my muscle memory finally kicked in, I had a great time. But, that's not what I want to talk about right now.
See, after the game, I went with Alicia and the rest of the group for wings and beer, and I ordered a spicy-delicious salad as my dinner, and munched away at it while dipping in and out of various conversations around the table. At one point, one of the guys was relating a story, and I remember nothing about the story, aside from the fact that he used the word, "Nerd," in a very derisive and derogatory fashion, several times during the telling of it.
It's been a long, long time since I've heard anyone use Nerd in such a blatantly negative context, and I was NOT a fan. I do self-identify as something of a nerd, and the way this person used the word almost made it feel like a racial slur. Maybe that's an exaggeration that blows the incident out of proportion, but yes, it was hurtful.
I think that's a large part of the reason why I don't get more riled up about things like racial slurs or ethnic stereotypes: because, in the end, it's all just a string of words, and it's the intent behind them that makes the difference in how I will feel, and how I will react.
Genuine ignorance about a culture is still genuine, and a willingness to learn, to open your mind and overcome that ignorance, can make up for a lot of negative history. The sad fact is, there are a lot of ignorant people in our society--and I wouldn't even deign to leave myself out of that sample, because there's plenty that I don't know--and to get angry about the ignorance of the general population has generally felt like a waste of energy to me, past a certain point.
Intent, however, is something I *can* get angry about. Call me a name in jest, and I'll take it in jest. But you could call me a Chink, or a Nerd, or a Fuzzy-Wuzzy Kitten, and if you do it with the intent to hurt and degrade, then I'm going to take it with exactly the intent you put behind it. What you say is far less important than what you mean, and if I'm being insulted, I'm going to respond in kind, no matter what language you use to form that insult. ANY word can be hurtful, when used in a hurtful way.
It's never a bad idea to think before you speak, lest your words be taken to mean something more powerful than you intend them to be. But, to get angry over a word, with no regard for the context it's used in, or the intent that's applied to it? That's pretty foolish.
And yes, I still kind of want to punch the Nerd-Hater in the groin.
See, after the game, I went with Alicia and the rest of the group for wings and beer, and I ordered a spicy-delicious salad as my dinner, and munched away at it while dipping in and out of various conversations around the table. At one point, one of the guys was relating a story, and I remember nothing about the story, aside from the fact that he used the word, "Nerd," in a very derisive and derogatory fashion, several times during the telling of it.
It's been a long, long time since I've heard anyone use Nerd in such a blatantly negative context, and I was NOT a fan. I do self-identify as something of a nerd, and the way this person used the word almost made it feel like a racial slur. Maybe that's an exaggeration that blows the incident out of proportion, but yes, it was hurtful.
I think that's a large part of the reason why I don't get more riled up about things like racial slurs or ethnic stereotypes: because, in the end, it's all just a string of words, and it's the intent behind them that makes the difference in how I will feel, and how I will react.
Genuine ignorance about a culture is still genuine, and a willingness to learn, to open your mind and overcome that ignorance, can make up for a lot of negative history. The sad fact is, there are a lot of ignorant people in our society--and I wouldn't even deign to leave myself out of that sample, because there's plenty that I don't know--and to get angry about the ignorance of the general population has generally felt like a waste of energy to me, past a certain point.
Intent, however, is something I *can* get angry about. Call me a name in jest, and I'll take it in jest. But you could call me a Chink, or a Nerd, or a Fuzzy-Wuzzy Kitten, and if you do it with the intent to hurt and degrade, then I'm going to take it with exactly the intent you put behind it. What you say is far less important than what you mean, and if I'm being insulted, I'm going to respond in kind, no matter what language you use to form that insult. ANY word can be hurtful, when used in a hurtful way.
It's never a bad idea to think before you speak, lest your words be taken to mean something more powerful than you intend them to be. But, to get angry over a word, with no regard for the context it's used in, or the intent that's applied to it? That's pretty foolish.
And yes, I still kind of want to punch the Nerd-Hater in the groin.
