Angst schmangst

<rant>
You know, there's a reason why I don't want to move back in with my parents. Because the minute I do, somebody is going to be riding my ass constantly about what I should and shouldn't be doing, and I *hate* that. I'm going to make my own decisions, and I don't want unsolicited advice.

And, I *certainly* don't need to keep answering the phone every single day, and getting the same treatment over a telephone wire! Is it any wonder that me and the guys have taken to screening our phone calls? For the love of God, I'd just like to be left to my own devices for a week or two. Even a few consecutive days would be a blessing, at this point.

Nobody seems to understand that when they pressure me, when they question all my actions, it only eats away at what little motivation I already have. It only makes me more resolute about my current path, and it makes me more resistant to change.

I am not as resistant to change as some folks might think. But, if I'm going to make a major change, I will make the decision on my own, and not because someone else thinks I should. I'm old enough to make my own choices, without having them questioned every step of the way.

There are certain types of misery that I am prepared for, but I am NOT going to do something that isn't right for me.

And I also CAN NOT control what other people do with their lives.

God. I think that retaining my own residence may be the biggest motivator I have going for me. I cannot return to such a critical environment. I've come to expect that from jobs and from my prior education, but I don't need it in every aspect of my life. That's not how people are supposed to live.
</rant>

"The ice is so slippery, and, and monkeys are all irrational. We have to see this!"

This weather is crazy. When I came down to my car this afternoon, there was an inch-thick layer of snow, topped by another half-inch or so of ice. We had a good laugh trying to break through all of it so we could uncover the windshield and all the windows.

Annoyingly, however, I went to the bank to deposit the other half of the rent/utils, and they were CLOSED! They closed 4 hours early because of the weather! Pansies. I got there and back, so why couldn't they? ;p

I got another e-mail from Kemma, a.k.a. my potential conversation partner. He doesn't know his schedule yet, but apparently he will in a few days. The excited-yet-nervous feeling still applies. Ehhh. ^^; He says that I can e-mail him in Japanese whenever I want, if I want to practice that way, so I'll get something out of it!

I applied to a few more jobs today, some of which sound interesting. I'm just kind of applying for anything that mentions needing computer skills of some kind, because that's where my real edge comes in. I figure that's probably the toughest part of learning any position. One, in particular, would get me print design experience, which is something I definitely need. My formal work experience is very web-centric.

Also on the potential money front, I'm going to a meeting at the Rec center tomorrow, to possibly be a sports official! ::laughs:: It might be interesting, and I've played a few different sports before, so I think it's something I could do.

Oh Mr. Postmaaan! WHERE IS MY STUFF?? I was hoping my Wacom tablet would arrive today, but there's no sign of it. I was also hoping my PS2 would show up, but I expect my Wacom tablet to get here before the PS2 does.

Anyway, I'm off to be productive some more.

Sketchy McSketch

So, here's one of my recent drawing experiments: Nutkicker, inked.

I really liked the original pencil sketch, because I took a fairly involved pose, and actually made it look *believable*, so I had to try inking it. I really hate the face shading, for some reason, but I think the rest is pretty okay. I keep thinking that I need a finer-tip pen for shading, but I was already using the finest tip on my Tria. So, I guess that means I need to work on my pen control. ^^; I also think I'm going to work on poses that require foreshortening in the coming weeks, because I'm only good at that about 50% of the time.

Also: I cannot draw a gun for crap. This could possibly be in part because I'm not a big fan of the things. I guess it's magical girl comics for me! ::rotfl::

My thank you cards are lookin' sharp, homey! I got some boldly-colored blank cards at Target, and then did a very simple design for the cover, and sent the blank cards through my printer. It also ties together the vaguely obnoxious card/envelope color combination I chose, too. I love that I have a color printer that works so consistently.

I think I need to take a break, watch some terebi, and eat something. But then! I will work on my hiring pages for a bit, if I don't get too sleepy.

To do tomorrow: go to bank *again*; more job hunting; adjust roadmap graphic/make PDF; e-mail/call Kemma, Dan, and simurgh; freelancing; more work on hiring pages.