batskeets | "I'm using my Hammer pants as a flotation device!"

Saturday Night. Wushu Demo. PSU. I believe the event doors open at 5pm, but I was told to be there at 7:30, so the stage show won't be starting until later in the evening. But yes, come see, if you're so inclined!

So, yes, another full weekend was had. Gatherings, karaoke, photoshooting, and derby practices... the latter of which was quite the rollercoaster.

I had a terrible time during the on-wheels portion of Thursday's practice; I was extremely tired for no apparent reason, and wasn't performing well at all. My knees have been acting up again, too, so pushing through exhaustion was next-to-impossible, once the knee pain was thrown on top of it. When you're already at the low end of the field on your better days, that all becomes pretty damned demoralizing.

Then, when we did the half-hour of off-skates conditioning, I busted it out, and when I looked around, it became pretty apparent that I'm one of the fittest people on the squad. I've received comments from other girls at derby, too, about how strong I am, or how strong I look, so this has been something of a pattern. After off-skates training wrapped up, though, the self-deprecating part of my brain said: "hey, if I'm one of the fittest and strongest, why am I also one of the absolute worst skaters here?"

...stupid brain.

Needless to say, I felt pretty despondent after that, and was dreading Saturday practice. That practice didn't go too terribly much better, in terms of how well I skated, but we did have the opportunity to scrimmage, so it was more enjoyable, at least. Captain O also took each of us aside for a one-on-one during practice, to check in and see how we were feeling about things, so I actually got to have the, "I'm struggling very badly, when I don't think I should be!" conversation. He gave me a few things to work on, but he also did assure me that I'm not as horribly behind as I think, and that a lot of my basics are solid.

He also noted that I should pay a visit to the skate shop and have my skates looked at, in case there was a problem there. I actually had a few spare moments after practice, so I hustled on over and did just that... and found out that I hadn't been measured correctly for my skates. My current pair is too big, so I've spent almost 6 months on skates that don't fit me. Hearing that was equal parts relieving and frustrating: I was Relieved to have confirmation that my skating issues weren't just a matter of my being a lousy skater, but Frustrated because I don't have the cash to buy properly fitted skates just yet. So, I get to deal with the problem for at least a couple more weeks.

Still, I finally got enough of my energy back to feel somewhat stronger at Sunday practice, and I think I'm over the emotional hump, at least temporarily. A lot of girls now have Blue Star clearance, I'm not one of them, and the coaches have made it clear that they want to clear the rest of us SOON. The pressure's on, but there's not much I can do but keep pushing onward, and hoping that things will get better sooner, rather than later.

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On the plus side, just about everything else is either looking hopeful, or going along really, really well, so even the looming specter of bad skating can't cancel that out. I'm feeling good today. :)