Before you wreck yourself

[batskeets]

Heh, this seems an appropriate follow-up to yesterday's ramble.

It doesn't happen often, but every once in a while, I hear words come out of my mouth, and then I think back on them later and wonder what possessed me to say them. I never want to be the sort of person who makes snap judgments about others--especially seeing as I can be pretty awful with giving first impressions, myself--but sometimes, it happens.

I suspect that dating has made my inner misanthropist rear its ugly head, and I don't particularly like that. I've only really been "on the market" for a short few months, but I'm already tired of the mis-fires, promised calls that never come, terrifyingly clingy post-first-date behavior, last-minute bailouts, and the sheer pervasiveness of people who refuse to say what they actually mean, or let you know where you stand.

And, seeing as I'm not a person whose trust is not at all easy to gain, all the unkept promises and song-and-dance are just making me dislike humanity as a whole. And that makes *me* into the person who makes the derisive comments about some sub-group of people--I'll just be spitting piss and vinegar about, "Bros," or, "Hipsters," instead of, "Nerds."

Fact is, I want to expect the best from people, but there are some days when my mind can only seem to expect the worst, because I've temporarily bought into the idea that, outside of a handful of Very Good People that I'm fortunate enough to know and love, most folks don't follow through. Those are the days when I blow off some stranger who's probably a perfectly decent person, by simply labeling and dismissing them. Those are the days when I'm at my ugliest.

There need to be fewer of those days.

So, this is a little Note To Self, to check in every once in a while, and make sure I don't turn into a complete asshole.

Comments

[monkeyhole.livejournal.com]

I think all of us have these kind of days, although some have them more than others.

The very fact that you've taken the time to contemplate and acknowledge it means you are not-an-asshole, and are probably not capable of reaching the level of those who are oblivious to their transgressions.

[lillilah]

My 2¢ is that if you are a subculture kind of person, then you have better luck dating within your subgroup rather than trying the open market. (I always date gamers.) That unpleasant flakiness, etc seems to be the way a lot of people our age are when it comes to dating (I say this because the guy I am dating has complained about a lot of it). Find a "nice guy" who is into one of your subcultures. Skip the charismatic ones. Ask him out. I expect that your whirlwind busy and incredible coolness intimidate the crap out of people.

[skeets.livejournal.com]

Well, yeah, basically everyone I've been out with so far has been some combination of dorky, adorably awkward, and into at least one of my major subcultures. But, even then, the flakes are still there.

But anyway, the main thrust of the post is not that Dudes Aren't Nice, it's that I don't like it when my cranky and skeptical feelings about ALL people boil up too much, and dating just happens to be intensifying that right now. Being jaded about dating is something I can deal with; being jaded about all of humanity? That's something I can't hang with. :)

[lillilah]

Perhaps I'm just so used to having those days that they don't phase me as much. I literally have days when I love everyone and days when I hate almost everyone. Generally, the latter means I'm doing too much and not getting enough sleep. I wish you luck on finding redeeming characteristics in humanity.