Pre-tournament HOLYCRAPPANIC (or not)
Apr. 9th, 2009 11:12 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
batskeetsI'll likely be incommunicado via Internet through Sunday evening. It's Berkeley time, eeeep! Call or text if you need me. :)
Well, compared to the feelings of sheer terror I experienced before I bailed out on Berkeley last year, I'm feeling quite balanced today!
Good news is, a spot opened up in the UO van, so I'm spared the burden of paying for all gas, and driving the whole way. So, we do a wedding consultation, and then we head to Eugene for tonight, so I can take off with the team in the morning. I won't get to go and be counseled before I go, but I had a decent practice on Tuesday, so I think I'll be okay without it.
I haven't figured out yet how I'm going to get sleep on Friday night. Half the reason I don't perform to my own expectations is because I can't friggin' sleep the night before tournament. Sleeping pills don't seem to do much, so I'm seriously considering drinking two shots before before bed, in the hopes that it'll knock me out. Other ideas are appreciated.
It looks like there are 4 people in my event, so I'm actually not guaranteed a medal, for once! Hahaha! I actually prefer it that way; I've had more than my fill of getting a medal simply for showing up, and it's not any fun.
I notice that the idea of coming in last doesn't terrify me like it used to. I suppose it's partly because, "Last out of 4 people," is less depressing than, "Last out of 14 people," but when you come down to it, I'm an almost-29-year-old competing against people who are most likely 18-22. People who have more time to focus towards wushu, who are at peak performance age, who can live on Top Ramen and Taco Bell without gaining 50 pounds. All of the people I know in my age bracket? They're judging or spectating. Even if I don't do the greatest job, the fact that I'm still bringing it to the carpet as an "old" person feels like something of an achievement.
That said, I don't think my chances are good. Even though I know the clean, correct movements in my head, the way they train us in class has caused me to lose stamina over the past year. Now, I get tired too quickly to do the whole form at the quality I'd like. But, I'll do what I must, and wheeze my way through to the end.
But, if I had the stamina? I'd have all the confidence in the world. I'm a freaking bad-ass in short bursts. So hey, I suppose that's saying something.
Anyhoo, yeah, if you have a free moment around 2pm on Saturday, cross your fingers for me. I could use an extra bit of lucky. :)
Well, compared to the feelings of sheer terror I experienced before I bailed out on Berkeley last year, I'm feeling quite balanced today!
Good news is, a spot opened up in the UO van, so I'm spared the burden of paying for all gas, and driving the whole way. So, we do a wedding consultation, and then we head to Eugene for tonight, so I can take off with the team in the morning. I won't get to go and be counseled before I go, but I had a decent practice on Tuesday, so I think I'll be okay without it.
I haven't figured out yet how I'm going to get sleep on Friday night. Half the reason I don't perform to my own expectations is because I can't friggin' sleep the night before tournament. Sleeping pills don't seem to do much, so I'm seriously considering drinking two shots before before bed, in the hopes that it'll knock me out. Other ideas are appreciated.
It looks like there are 4 people in my event, so I'm actually not guaranteed a medal, for once! Hahaha! I actually prefer it that way; I've had more than my fill of getting a medal simply for showing up, and it's not any fun.
I notice that the idea of coming in last doesn't terrify me like it used to. I suppose it's partly because, "Last out of 4 people," is less depressing than, "Last out of 14 people," but when you come down to it, I'm an almost-29-year-old competing against people who are most likely 18-22. People who have more time to focus towards wushu, who are at peak performance age, who can live on Top Ramen and Taco Bell without gaining 50 pounds. All of the people I know in my age bracket? They're judging or spectating. Even if I don't do the greatest job, the fact that I'm still bringing it to the carpet as an "old" person feels like something of an achievement.
That said, I don't think my chances are good. Even though I know the clean, correct movements in my head, the way they train us in class has caused me to lose stamina over the past year. Now, I get tired too quickly to do the whole form at the quality I'd like. But, I'll do what I must, and wheeze my way through to the end.
But, if I had the stamina? I'd have all the confidence in the world. I'm a freaking bad-ass in short bursts. So hey, I suppose that's saying something.
Anyhoo, yeah, if you have a free moment around 2pm on Saturday, cross your fingers for me. I could use an extra bit of lucky. :)
