Starving Daughters

[batskeets]

I stumbled upon this video via one of my blog feeds, and after listening, I had to share it here. Not simply because it resonates with me, but because I've expressed frustration with these issues here before. (generally under Friends-Lock)

And, each time that I've expressed those frustrations, my fellow frustrated women in the audience leave comments about how you, too, deal with these kinds of thoughts all the time. The video breaks it down in a way that may sound very familiar to you. It certainly did to me.

Why do so many of us feel as though we must be the end-all and be-all of everything? And, more importantly, how do we begin to get over it?

Comments

[benefitz.livejournal.com]

It was interesting to me how much of this could describe me as well. The Perfect Girl part seemed like a very good description. The Starving Daughter part wasn't as much though. My symptoms and habits that express those emotions and insecurities are different, but there is some of that same struggle between the two parts.

[misshepeshu.livejournal.com]

I think that being a boy raised by a warm, accepting family, with parents who didn't load you with a lot of body image shit, probably makes a lot of difference here.

The Starving Daughter in me doesn't quite fit with this woman's description, either--I think Marya Hornbacher wrote a version that I resonated with more strongly--more strongly than I'm comfortable with, honestly. I definitely have a starving daughter, though, and I definitely don't like it when she pipes up. Because dammit, why can't I be 20 lbs. lighter, on law review, making straight As and juggling a super-successful blog while making sure all my friends are fed and loved and happy?

And this is me after ten years of learning to let go and not get wound up over small crap. The problem is, I haven't really learned to not get too wound up over big crap. I think a big part of it is how I'm so used to using the stress-guilt cycle as a prod and a motivator; I don't think I necessarily want to let go of the big crap, because, well, it's big crap. I do need to find a more productive way of handling it, though.

Sigh.

[skeets.livejournal.com]

And this is me after ten years of learning to let go and not get wound up over small crap. The problem is, I haven't really learned to not get too wound up over big crap. I think a big part of it is how I'm so used to using the stress-guilt cycle as a prod and a motivator; I don't think I necessarily want to let go of the big crap, because, well, it's big crap. I do need to find a more productive way of handling it, though.

God, so true. I've basically come to terms with the small stuff, but I'm almost afraid to stop worrying about Big Things, for fear that I'll just sit on my ass and do nothing if I'm not worrying about Big Things.

It seems that it's not uncommon for the most successful people in a given field to have serious dysfunction in other parts of their lives, though. We all have a lot to learn about managing this shit, I think.

Bleh. :p

[tokori.livejournal.com]

yeap. so agree

[sarapada.livejournal.com]

Yes. That.

[junsiew.livejournal.com]

I agree, the video sums it up so well.