drive-by

[batskeets]

Wushu was good yesterday. My legs were totally busted-dead from the bike ride on Sunday, but I did pretty well in spite of that.

One of the wushu newbies has done Taiji before, so a few of us are getting together tonight to practice it! I'm sure my internal structure will be awful, but eh, only practice will make it better again.

I got a ton of stuff done last night, and dolla' bills will be headed my way soon. Woo!

Speaking of dolla' bills, I'm considering taking on a one-day-a-week paper route. I balked at the idea at first, but A) it's extra money, B) it's only one day a week, and C) I'd only have to make sure the papers were delivered by 6pm, so I wouldn't have to do it at some ungodly hour of the morning.

Oh, and yes, polysciguy, I did turn in my ballot today. ;)

And now, a bit of boy blather, because I'm feeling pent-up and want to let it out:

I must confess that I've had the notion that I shouldn't feel the way I do about my current relationship. As though I need to hide it, or as though I'm stupid to entertain such thoughts. This isn't out of *wanting* to hide it, because I don't. Hell, there is part of me that'd like nothing better than to shout it from the rooftops.

I suppose it's more the feeling that nobody wants to hear it, or that I'm going to be judged a certain way if I express it. Perhaps it's that I think I'll be accused of falling into it without thinking, or letting things happen too fast. Granted, that may have been something I've done in the past, that doesn't mean that I'm doing it now. If anything, I may very well be *overthinking* this one. ^^;; I guess I'm overly concerned with the perceptions of others.

Thing is, in a few short months, he's brought me a lot of experiences that I'd forgotten were possible. He's helped me rediscover things that I'd lost touch with. We've changed each other's perspectives and we've learned from each other. We can be ourselves around each other, and we can say what we want to say to each other without fear.

Even if he disappeared from my life tomorrow, I would be better off than I was when he found me. And for that, and for many other reasons, I love him. Or at least, I do at this moment.

There, I said it. If it all goes to hell later on, you can point and laugh as you see fit, heh. ;p

Comments

[lillilah]

Yay happiness!!! I'm so glad! (BTW, I was convinced after dating Joel for about two weeks that I wanted to marry him. And it worked out, so being happy and into someone isn't necessarily a bad sign.)

[aleisha.livejournal.com]

Ah. I understand. I don't tell too many people about Mike. I've posted a little, but mainly I just mention his name. With my track record I don't expect people to take it well that I've found someone else.

[sarapada.livejournal.com]

That made me smile - your ultimate conclusion, that is, not that you're afraid people will judge you. My experience is that I'm always way more afraid of people calling me out than I need to be - it never actually happens.

[rantar.livejournal.com]

I would say you might have fallen into a bit of over thinking. I can't speak for all your friends, but I'm your friend, and I want you to be happy. Life is full of twists and turn, and I may have an opinion on choices people make, but ultimately we want to help you get where you want to be and where you are happy. Thats the core notion I believe. Life is crazy sometimes, but we all have to get where we are going.

Okay, so that was either wise, or I haven't had enough sleep in the last few days. You be the judge. I hope you got what I was trying to saw however.

[skeets.livejournal.com]

Yah, well, I suspect a lot of it comes from some combination of my desire to proceed with caution, my regrets about some of the actions that led to where I am now, and too damned much talking with J. ;p It starts seeming like everyone feels a certain way about it, because you *think* they will or should, even if they actually don't. But yeah, overthinking, for sure. I do that a lot, heh. ^^;

[skeets.livejournal.com]

It makes me smile, too :) I think I can honestly say that pretty much everyone I've been in a relationship with has left me better off than when they found me, so that makes me very fortunate. :)

And it's true, most people don't have to gonads to actually call each other out on something. ;) Kinda makes it rare when you find somebody who *will* call you out, when they need to.

[skeets.livejournal.com]

It's hard for anyone to know the shape of a relationship when they're not in it, so yeah, I suppose everyone will have their predictions and opinions. But if the guy is good for you and you're happy, then that should be enough assurance for anyone who is truly a friend, track record or no. :)

[skeets.livejournal.com]

Heh, thanks :) And yeah, sometimes you just know from the start... those who do are incredibly lucky!

[polysciguy.livejournal.com]

Sorry...I am with Rantar on this one. Don't worry...be happy...if I was less tired...then you would get more threory than that.

[starkodama.livejournal.com]

Hey man, I'm squarely in the DO WHAT FEELS GOOD tribe. I started dating Current Man pretty soon after getting dumped by Poopstain Man, and some eyebrows were raised I think, but 3 months later I'm still deliriously happy. All the best to you guys!!