![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
batskeetsHere's a question: when did I become such an asshole?
No, that's not a trick question.
I sometimes find myself thinking back to a few years ago, when I first moved into Douglass Hall. I remember how easy it always felt to smile and be nice to people. Making new friends was so frickin' easy. And then, I contrast that with my current attitude, where it's only easy when I'm in a particular mood, and that mood is not one that strikes often enough.
I think about how I used to react to people of lesser intelligence--and I don't mean 'not as smart as I am,' I mean geniunely dumb--and I remember being less bothered by it. I'd give someone at least a base level of respect no matter what, and ditzy, shallow behavior just rolled off my back without incident, but now? When I hear or see stupid behavior happening around me these days, it completely grates on my nerves.
Take last night, at the gym: I observed two girls who were giggling like morons and passing a medicine ball back and forth--they'd been biffing around the weight room aimlessly for probably 20 minutes prior to this--and didn't seem like they were even *trying* to accomplish anything resembling a workout. I remember a time when I'd have just gone about my business without thinking twice, but yesterday, I could feel my eyes rolling so far back into my head I could practically see my sinuses.
Bottom line is, I seem to like people at large a good deal less than I used to.
I have to wonder when my judgements about other people changed. Is it because I have a solid group of friends now, and I don't have that sense of desperation to have someone, anyone to be around? Is it a natural part of getting older, and realizing that my overall faith in human intelligence may have been misplaced? Is it because I have stronger opinions than I used to, and more clearly defined likes and dislikes? Was I just blissfully unaware before, and now I'm noticing because I'm more observant? Is it me slowly losing patience with various parts of life? Am I just not a nice person anymore?
Surely, I am not the only one who has felt this way before, so if you have comments, spill 'em.
No, that's not a trick question.
I sometimes find myself thinking back to a few years ago, when I first moved into Douglass Hall. I remember how easy it always felt to smile and be nice to people. Making new friends was so frickin' easy. And then, I contrast that with my current attitude, where it's only easy when I'm in a particular mood, and that mood is not one that strikes often enough.
I think about how I used to react to people of lesser intelligence--and I don't mean 'not as smart as I am,' I mean geniunely dumb--and I remember being less bothered by it. I'd give someone at least a base level of respect no matter what, and ditzy, shallow behavior just rolled off my back without incident, but now? When I hear or see stupid behavior happening around me these days, it completely grates on my nerves.
Take last night, at the gym: I observed two girls who were giggling like morons and passing a medicine ball back and forth--they'd been biffing around the weight room aimlessly for probably 20 minutes prior to this--and didn't seem like they were even *trying* to accomplish anything resembling a workout. I remember a time when I'd have just gone about my business without thinking twice, but yesterday, I could feel my eyes rolling so far back into my head I could practically see my sinuses.
Bottom line is, I seem to like people at large a good deal less than I used to.
I have to wonder when my judgements about other people changed. Is it because I have a solid group of friends now, and I don't have that sense of desperation to have someone, anyone to be around? Is it a natural part of getting older, and realizing that my overall faith in human intelligence may have been misplaced? Is it because I have stronger opinions than I used to, and more clearly defined likes and dislikes? Was I just blissfully unaware before, and now I'm noticing because I'm more observant? Is it me slowly losing patience with various parts of life? Am I just not a nice person anymore?
Surely, I am not the only one who has felt this way before, so if you have comments, spill 'em.
