"What are you complaining about? At least you didn't get a hickey."

[batskeets]

So, here's something I've neglected to rant about before: One of the things I consider to be worst about getting action from a guy is looking in the mirror at some point afterwards, and noticing that, at some point during said action, you were awarded with your very own set of hickeys.

Hickeys are awful. Even when you get a relatively minor one, it still looks like exactly what it is, and just begs for attention amidst the pasty whiteness of one's neck. They're also near-impossible to get rid of--the only solution I've ever found that worked was, yes, *combing* it out. If you use a fine-toothed comb in all directions over the affected area, it'll apparently break up the clots and lighten the spot. The main pitfall of this solution is that it hurts like a bitch to do it.

The real issue, however, is that of privacy. Now, I don't mind it when others assume that I'm getting a bit of nookie on my own free time. Hell, go ahead and assume. It's probably something of a compliment when you assume that another person is attractive enough to get it when they want it. And, in some situations--when you have an S.O., after you are of a certain age, etc.--it's an assumption that's pretty much impossible to avoid.

However, just because someone assumes I'm sexually active to some degree, doesn't mean that I want them to know exactly when I've been engaging in some marathon snogging.

And that, my friends, is exactly what a hickey is. It's a giant, purplish, "I Got Some!" flag, that's forcibly attached to some part of your body for a period of several days, and you're stuck with it. Everyone can look at it, and know that you've been up to something behind closed doors. If they saw you in a hickey-free state on the previous day, then they also pretty much know when you were going at it, whether you want them to or not.

I'm not the type to openly discuss the nitty-gritty of such activities with anybody--especially not in regards to a current partner. But, even if you're the type that shares all of those details with your friends, there are still other people who can glean the same information from one little errant spot on your neck. Your professors. Your BOSS. YOUR PARENTS. All of these people will be privy to your sexual schedule if they get a glimpse of that spot. Do you *really* want to be sharing this stuff with the world at large? I certainly don't!

So, boys, don't go thinking that it's your sworn duty to "mark your territory" by leaving a cluster of hickeys on your girlfriend/date's body. Well, unless she enjoys that sort of thing. But if she likes it, then she should be asking you for it, so just avoid it. You're not a vampire, for pity's sake.

Comments

[a-wags.livejournal.com]

Ive had one before and it was TERRIBLE

[soultron.livejournal.com]

What about bite marks?

[skeets.livejournal.com]

I am a sissy when it comes to physical pain of any kind, so, yeah, not so much into bite marks, either. ^^;

[sarapada.livejournal.com]

I don't mind hickeys at all. But I can totally understand your point.

[monkeyhole.livejournal.com]

Yes, but I give you hickeys when my friends are in the same room with us. Therefore, hickeys don't mean the same thing in our case. Yes, I give you hickeys when we've been... entertaining ourselves in ways my grandmother should not know about... but I also give them to you just as a way to say "I love you and think you're pretty damned hot". So in your case, people don't instantly assume (or they shouldn't) that we've been in bed together within the last 24 hours (even though that's often a safe bet).

And if this was too much information for everyone else... then well, feel free to share something equally as "TMI" as what I just posted. MWAH

[rednfiery.livejournal.com]

arnica gel is really good for bruises. when you get a bruise, apply it 3 times a day, and your bruise will mostly be gone by the next day (i'm a redhead, fair complected, bruise easily, and it works very well). maybe it would work on hickeys...? dunno, but it's worth a try, and much less painful than a comb! ;^)

[alaindan.livejournal.com]

And the same applies to the girls as well.

And never, EVER, write your name in hickeys on your lover's back. Especially when you break up with him the next day.

[alleycatsphinx.livejournal.com]

I've got some kinda hickey immunity. It's either bitemarks or nothing for me. Then again, I've known people to turn purple at the thought of a hicky. Mad world!

[xplo.livejournal.com]

In my limited experience, a lot of girls DO like being chewed and sucked on. *shrug*

Completely unrelated...

[spiralshannon.livejournal.com]

Where do you go for bubble tea in Eugene? I'm gonna be down there this weekend, and I'm craving it... all your posts about it got me to try it last fall and I've developed a mild addiction... and all the Portland shops that I know of are way out of the way for me...

Re: Completely unrelated...

[tracylynnquan.livejournal.com]

There's a place near Gateway mall called the Aiyara Cafe that's got decent bubble tea. In my opinion, it's expensive, but it's pretty much the best you can get in Eugene. Plus the ladies that run the place are super nice!

Re: Completely unrelated...

[skeets.livejournal.com]

Heh, tracylynnquan told you part of what I was going to say :)

But anyway, if you want something close to campus, there's also Milky Way Tea and Pastry, which is on 13th right next to Sakura. They are pretty good, too.