One of these days, I'll get it right. :p

[batskeets]

Couldn't sleep at all last night. Didn't feel sleepy until probably 5:30am, and then I couldn't fall asleep until 7:30am. Sumbitch! I only got 5 hours of sleep though, so MAYBE I'll be tired at the proper time this evening. (yeah, uh-huh ;p) Andre thinks I should see a doctor about my inability to sleep, even when I'm dog tired... maybe I should.

I heart my cool black workout pants with the racing stripe on the side. They are SO CUTE. And far superior to the evil shorts of yesteryear.

The boys went sneaking off to Christmas shop, while I sit at home and work again. James is buying a present, so I couldn't have gone, even if I'd wanted to. (hey, he asked me like 5 minutes after I woke up, so I'm not going to respond well to *anything* in that state) But that's cool, because I've got the rest of my shopping pretty much figured out anyway, so I can hit the stores tomorrow and do a swift, strategic strike.

I went to this page from 8-BT last night. Sometimes the most random stuff will pull at my heartstrings or light a fire under me, and it's situations like this that really make me believe fate is a twisted little bitch. I don't even know who this guy is, but nobody should have to sleep upright in a car while watching his mother possibly die of emphysema. So yes, I sent the guy some money. Only $5, but that's all I could really give without ME having to sleep inside a car. :p

I find it startling that something as major as 9/11 ultimately had little to no effect on me, but reading about a single person's suffering can make me feel so bad. Perhaps it's because this person, in writing that account, has given himself a face and an identity more distinct from the masses. Or maybe it's because a swift death seems better to me than years of suffering in a slow, painful downward spiral towards the same end. I can't put my finger on it, exactly.

Does that make me a really fucked up person?

Comments

[alfonzobean.livejournal.com]

No.

Your not fucked up...

[sirbeavis.livejournal.com]

9/11 did not effect me either.. Not because im heartless but because its so far away and had no effect to my family.. But when the IRA Bombed 2 houses only 3 blocks from me in London and killed a mother and father leaving 3 kids with no family I was really effected.. Enough to where I gave them lots of money and got a hatred the IRA.. But that made me think that this causes a circle of hate.. that IS bad.. I read that article about thor and I have to say that did not effect me either... So I guess im the fucked up one.. or its not something I feel strongly about! (Ill tell you what story effected me lately was when these people shot bow and arrows into horses killing one.. Now I hate horses, but I find that disturbing and wrong, I guess human behavior effects me..) I just noticed im rambling a lot...

[totchiko.livejournal.com]

you are not fucked up.. it's really hard to relate to mass destruction like that.. you look and you see the buildings crumble.. and yeah it's sad.. but you don't really GET it.. it's too big to comprehend like that, even if you know what's happening.. it's when you look into the face of one of the victim and realize, hey.. they're a person just like you, with hopes and dreams just like you that you begin to kinda get it..

I did cry for the whole 9/11 thing.. but after the initial shock wore off it didn't really affect me much to hear about it on the news... unless they showed or talked to real people.. that still gets to me.. like hearing about the man and his father running a 26 mile marathon in memory of their brother/son.. that one made me cry.. and things like that.. actually, just earlier today I came across this livejournal.. it belonged to a guy who died trying to help people on 9/11.. his last entry was made on 9/10, his 20th birthday.. and has over 500 comments.. THAT made me cry...

I don't know if it's exactly the same for you.. but when I see a face, or hear a voice.. it get so much more personal.. and I think that that's someone who could have been my friend.. or family.. and that's when the full impact of something really hits me...

[dakania.livejournal.com]

I did get a little touched because of 9/11, but I think I'll understand more when I go to New York. (cf. Gar.)

I had no feeling for the Oklahoma City bombing until I visited there on my way to LA this past October. When I understood just how big the buildings were and just how many people died and their jobs and everything, I began to understand and fear the power of a terrorist, even as I live my life as a defiance.

Oklahoma City had 163 people victims (I think that's the right number). WTC was thousands.

I am sure that when and if I visit Manhattan, I will understand. And fast.

--RGA'an