![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Half-blind optimism
Jun. 1st, 2014 11:45 amI realize that I'm kind of a sucker for honest, intelligent, kind souls who are better people than they'll ever allow themselves believe. Especially if they're slightly broken thanks to the actions of terrible people. Maybe that's because I can relate to them more than I ever wanted to.
I look around me and see more than a few examples of that, and they tend to be the people I hold dearest in my heart, even if they probably aren't entirely aware of that. They're the people whom I want to protect from hurt, even when I have no real place to try and do so. It's not something I can easily communicate, and even if I could, there's not often an occasion when it feels like a good moment to say it.
So, I give of my time as best I can, and hope that maybe, just maybe, they'll see that I choose to spend the rare free moments I have with them for good reason. And, I let myself believe that maybe, just maybe, if I show them the honesty and caring they've deserved all along, they'll start to believe they do deserve it.
For a person whose median set point is probably somewhere around "sensitive" and "slightly-depressed," I'm awfully good at half-blind optimism. Still, if I didn't believe I could make at least a little bit of difference, what would be the point of anything I do?
I look around me and see more than a few examples of that, and they tend to be the people I hold dearest in my heart, even if they probably aren't entirely aware of that. They're the people whom I want to protect from hurt, even when I have no real place to try and do so. It's not something I can easily communicate, and even if I could, there's not often an occasion when it feels like a good moment to say it.
So, I give of my time as best I can, and hope that maybe, just maybe, they'll see that I choose to spend the rare free moments I have with them for good reason. And, I let myself believe that maybe, just maybe, if I show them the honesty and caring they've deserved all along, they'll start to believe they do deserve it.
For a person whose median set point is probably somewhere around "sensitive" and "slightly-depressed," I'm awfully good at half-blind optimism. Still, if I didn't believe I could make at least a little bit of difference, what would be the point of anything I do?
