Ch-ch-ch-changes
May. 14th, 2009 09:58 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
batskeetsWil Wheaton does it again with his thoughts about the new Trek film. Yes, it was pretty darned awesome, but I had so, SO many reservations about it before I saw it! Even after the trailer came out, I started feeling a little crazy when everyone was getting excited about it, while I stubbornly stood in the corner and groused, "...I'm reserving judgment, damnit." I liked what Wil had to say about it, but then, I always like what Wil has to say about Trek, heh.
We started watching Malcolm X a couple nights ago, not realizing that we were starting it at 10pm and it was over three hours long, so we finished the latter half of it last night. I hadn't seen it since it came out in '92, so I got a lot more out of it this time around, and I found myself envying Malcolm during the sequence where he made his pilgrimage. My life seems lacking in experiences that are so immersive, arresting, and life-changing as that.
It's things like that which make me curious about religion. I've known for a long time that God is not the answer for me, especially not in the form which religion seems to place him/her in. When it comes to being Good or Evil, their versions of God are generally about absolutes, and I'm very much about individual context and intent. But, those who follow their faith with wisdom and intelligence seem to come upon these enormous moments of understanding, of feeling unity with the people of the world and the goodness in them. I can't say I've had much of that.
We're all changing from day-to-day, though, so it's not as though religious folk automatically have an understanding of the world that I will always lack, it's just that my understanding comes much more incrementally. I don't have a pilgrimage to go on, so the shape of my mind changes slowly, but I do connect the dots periodically. It just seems less significant, because it's not hitting me all at once, like a ton of bricks.
But, maybe if you take those little things over time, and wrap it all up into a bundle, it's the same or even greater. I know that I feel much different than I did a few years ago, or even a few months ago, and the sadness that gnaws at me seems to be smaller, so I must be gaining an understanding of something. I only hope I figure it out soon enough to share it... and that's assuming it's an understanding that can even be shared with words.
Speaking of change, I'm sending off another app today. Odds may not be as good with this one, but eh, nothing ventured, nothing gained. :)
We started watching Malcolm X a couple nights ago, not realizing that we were starting it at 10pm and it was over three hours long, so we finished the latter half of it last night. I hadn't seen it since it came out in '92, so I got a lot more out of it this time around, and I found myself envying Malcolm during the sequence where he made his pilgrimage. My life seems lacking in experiences that are so immersive, arresting, and life-changing as that.
It's things like that which make me curious about religion. I've known for a long time that God is not the answer for me, especially not in the form which religion seems to place him/her in. When it comes to being Good or Evil, their versions of God are generally about absolutes, and I'm very much about individual context and intent. But, those who follow their faith with wisdom and intelligence seem to come upon these enormous moments of understanding, of feeling unity with the people of the world and the goodness in them. I can't say I've had much of that.
We're all changing from day-to-day, though, so it's not as though religious folk automatically have an understanding of the world that I will always lack, it's just that my understanding comes much more incrementally. I don't have a pilgrimage to go on, so the shape of my mind changes slowly, but I do connect the dots periodically. It just seems less significant, because it's not hitting me all at once, like a ton of bricks.
But, maybe if you take those little things over time, and wrap it all up into a bundle, it's the same or even greater. I know that I feel much different than I did a few years ago, or even a few months ago, and the sadness that gnaws at me seems to be smaller, so I must be gaining an understanding of something. I only hope I figure it out soon enough to share it... and that's assuming it's an understanding that can even be shared with words.
Speaking of change, I'm sending off another app today. Odds may not be as good with this one, but eh, nothing ventured, nothing gained. :)
