With the way this week has gone, I'm not even sure I'll make it to Day 2. I might just do the days that appeal to me, or I might not have time for anything. Bluuuuugh. But anyway, here goes:

Day 1 - Very first video game.

My memories are most definitely fuzzy. My dad was always pretty keen on technology, so I was learning BASIC at the tender age of... 4 or 5? A lot of that inherited techie fixation centered around computers, but in my very early years, I do believe we had one of these at our house:


And that resulted in my pudgy, little-kid hands attempting to play a hell of a lot of this:
And the winner is... )

Day Ten

Sep. 16th, 2010 03:49 pm
One of these days, I might actually be able to do a for-reals, coherent post. I was hoping today would be that day, but holy jesus my head hurts. So, you get this.

Day Ten: One confession.

1. For as far back as I can remember, my greatest fear was that no one would ever truly love me. That fear has largely subsided in more-recent years, but there are definitely times when I still feel a twinge of that, especially when I'm shooting or editing weddings. I suspect it won't entirely go away until I'm married, myself. And possibly not even then. 

Day One: Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now.
Day Two: Nine things about yourself.
Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart.
Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.
Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done.
Day Six: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever).
Day Seven: Four turn-offs.
Day Eight: Three turn-ons.
Day Nine: Two smileys that describe your life right now.
Day Ten: One confession.
Question: Where is your favorite place for Indian food in PDX? I have been challenged to come up with a good Indian restaurant by Saturday, and I've only been to one place in town, thus far. I *could* probably find it again if I wanted to, but I don't even remember the name of it, so I figure there has to be something around that'd make more of a positive impression.

In other news, I went to the Scissor Sisters show after wushu last night, and it. Was. AWESOME. They sounded great, they knew how to perform and had a great flair for the dramatic, AND they got the whole crowd dancing like crazy by the end of it. Portland shows seem to have a way of being very sedate, so I was prepared to be all disappointed if this completely danceable set didn't get their booties shakin'. But, much to my surprise and pleasure, PDX stepped up. So, so fun.

I also went to a Run and Yoga class yesterday morning, at this place near 43rd and Hawthorne, and I *loved* it. I've been spotty with keeping up on running, and I've been meaning to get back into doing yoga at least semi-regularly, so this kills two birds with one stone! And, ~45 minutes of stretching and restoring after a solid stretch of running is basically the best idea ever.

My shoulders and upper-back are still wicked sore, though. I think spending all of PAX weekend with various bags over my shoulder didn't do me any favors. :/ But, I'm starting to feel better mentally, at least.

And finally, this day of the meme is lame, but here it is:

Day Nine: Two smileys that describe your life right now.

1. XD
2. :o

Day One: Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now.
Day Two: Nine things about yourself.
Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart.
Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.
Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done.
Day Six: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever).
Day Seven: Four turn-offs.
Day Eight: Three turn-ons.
Day Nine: Two smileys that describe your life right now.

Day Ten: One confession.

Day Eight

Sep. 14th, 2010 12:36 pm
Day Eight: Three Turn-Ons

1. Making me laugh. Witty jokes are certainly appreciated, and I'm always impressed by people who have witty comments and comebacks in any given situation. But, I also have a certain soft spot for a really good, cheesy, groan-worthy pun. ;)

2. Genuine enthusiasm for something you love. People who let their excitement bubble over with a thing they're passionate about win about a billion points.

3. An intense, thoughtful, and utterly toe-curling kiss.

Day One: Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now.
Day Two: Nine things about yourself.
Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart.
Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.
Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done.
Day Six: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever).
Day Seven: Four turn-offs.
Day Eight: Three turn-ons.

Day Nine: Two smileys that describe your life right now.
Day Ten: One confession.

Day Seven

Sep. 10th, 2010 09:03 pm
Day Seven: Four turn-offs

1. An overinflated ego. A reasonable amount of humility is healthy, and narcissism generally comes with a certain blindness to one's own faults. If you're really as awesome as you think you are, there's no need to constantly prove it.

2. Lack of self-respect. I don't like seeing people I care about being treated badly, and that includes how they treat themselves. Some of this is human, and lord knows I do it, too, but when it comes to the things that really matter, a person I love should value themselves enough to hold fast to what's important to them.

3. Lack of sense of humor. If you can't laugh about life, what's the point of it?

4. Unsolicited advice. I can handle a little, if it's given constructively, but even that can get overbearing in a hurry. If I really want someone's thoughts on a matter, I'll ask.


Day One: Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now.
Day Two: Nine things about yourself.
Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart.
Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.
Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done.
Day Six: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever).
Day Seven: Four turn-offs.

Day Eight: Three turn-ons.
Day Nine: Two smileys that describe your life right now.
Day Ten: One confession.

Day Six

Sep. 8th, 2010 01:10 pm
Day Six: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever).

These keep getting more difficult. Maybe if I cheat and assign groups of people for each item, this list would start to feel complete. ;p Anyway:

1. [livejournal.com profile] dakania
2. [livejournal.com profile] katlyn
3. C.
4. [livejournal.com profile] marykae
5. My dad.


Day One: Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now.
Day Two: Nine things about yourself.
Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart.
Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.
Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done.
Day Six: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever).

Day Seven: Four turn offs.
Day Eight: Three turn ons.
Day Nine: Two smileys that describe your life right now.
Day Ten: One confession.

Day Four

Aug. 30th, 2010 02:17 pm
batskeets: (yan!)
Seven things that cross your mind a lot.

1. Work. Workworkworkwork. Pathways to doing more work that I'm excited about, and less work that makes me want to stab myself (or someone else) in the eye with a Sharpie.

2. Why I did what I did in a given situation, or said the things I said. Whether or not those actions and interactions were true to what I felt, who I am, and who I want to become. (I do this pretty constantly.)

3. How I'm ever going to find time for all of the things I want to do, see, and know.

4. How I can give more to the people I care about, and let them know that they can come to me when they need to cry or vent. How to be less of a dumbass when it comes to knowing what to say or do, when someone I care about is hurting.

5. My next meal, and how much deliciousness I can get away with, but without completely destroying my health and wellness in the process. ;)

6. How to get out of my head and into the moment. How to focus on what's in front of me. How to get the 10000 streams of simultaneous thought in my mind to calm the eff down, so I can pick out the ones that are most deserving of my mental energy.

7. What that elusive, long-abiding love-of-my-life is really going to feel like, when it finally does find me.


Day One: Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now.
Day Two: Nine things about yourself.
Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart.
Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.

Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done.
Day Six: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever).
Day Seven: Four turn offs.
Day Eight: Three turn ons.
Day Nine: Two smileys that describe your life right now.
Day Ten: One confession.

Day Three

Aug. 29th, 2010 05:43 pm
(yeah, I'm late.)

Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart.

1. Be honest, genuine, and open to possibility. Be direct and willing to say what needs to be said, even if it's a difficult thing to say. Don't be afraid to tell me when I'm pushing your buttons.

2. Never take yourself or life too seriously. Let your inner dork come out to play, make the hilariously awful pun you're thinking of, see the humor in things. Realize that not every discussion in life has to be deep and deadly-serious.

3. Be smart as a whip, and excited about sharing what you do and what you know. I might not love everything you do, but odds are, I'm willing to try it. And, even if I have little-to-no understanding of what you're talking about, it can be pretty darned hot just to listen to someone nerd out about their field of choice.

4. Cook something wonderful for me. Especially when I'm sick.

5. Don't be stingy with physical affection and words of love, but don't give them just because you think they're "expected." I'm not terribly high-maintenance compared to most, but I do like to be reminded every so often that you think I'm special. And one demonstration born of thought beats ten born of expectation or "special" occasion.

6. Be passionate about me, but also be passionate about something that *isn't* me. Give me the space to enjoy the things I'm passionate about, and trust that I'll always make room for you.

7. Be willing to offer help and follow through on giving it, even if I rarely accept it or ask for it. Just letting me know that I can count on you can help get me through a rough patch.

8. Look for balance, both within yourself and between us. Expect that I will hold my own and make the effort to give as much as I get. Remember that we're equals. Give of yourself to me, and accept it wholeheartedly when I give of myself to you.

Day One: Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now.
Day Two: Nine things about yourself.
Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart.

Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.
Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done.
Day Six: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever).
Day Seven: Four turn offs.
Day Eight: Three turn ons.
Day Nine: Two smileys that describe your life right now.
Day Ten: One confession.

Day Two

Aug. 27th, 2010 03:20 pm
batskeets: (spoon)
Day Two: Nine things about yourself.

1. What I'm doing with my life right now is not at all what I expected. I started college as a journalism major, thinking I'd be a writer. Ten years ago, I was making anime webpages in my dorm room, only vaguely realizing that I was developing a marketable skill. I didn't pick up an SLR camera for the first time until 2002(?) and after the 10-week B/W film photography course, I didn't pick one up again for almost five years.

2. I've never been a naturally-gifted athlete, and I lived a very sedentary lifestyle, up until my early-to-mid-20s. At my heaviest, I carried over 230 pounds on my 5' 6 1/2" frame. Since finding my way into wushu and other physical pursuits, I can't imagine *not* being at least somewhat active for the rest of my life.

3. I've come to really enjoy performing, but I'd completely abhor being famous in any visually-recognizable way.

4. One of my least-favorite descriptors is, "shy." I was described this way quite a bit growing up, and it really started to irk me, over the years. Granted, I *was* quite shy when I was young, but that was more out of fear of being picked on than anything. I'm quiet and introverted, certainly, and easily embarrassed, at times, but Shy has never felt like the right word for me.

5. I went through a period where I actively disliked most females, due to the ugly and competitive nature of how a lot of women are taught to treat each other by our culture. Fortunately, I've since discovered that I simply hadn't met the right females, yet.

6. My cursive handwriting is pretty terrible, and my left-hander's smudge just exacerbates the problem. I was once accused by a classmate of receiving an A+ on an essay exam because, "[my] handwriting was so bad the teacher couldn't read it." Nowadays, I only use cursive for signing my name.

7. Up until a few months ago, I could count the number of people I've mouth-kissed on one hand. I can still count them on two.

8. I'm pretty certain that I can also count on two hands the number of church services I've attended. I've attended Lutheran church, Catholic mass, and non-denominational church. And maybe one or two others I'm forgetting. I have read most of the Bible, but only from a perspective of literary significance.

9. I've often described myself as the Laziest Fangirl on Earth. However, it'd be more accurate to say that I have a short attention span, because it's rare that I get obsessive enough about any one thing to be truly up-to-date on what's happening in that world. I'm also more likely to get fixated on a particular show, or game, or activity, rather than a wider genre that those things would fit into.


Day One: Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now.
Day Two: Nine things about yourself.

Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart.
Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.
Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done.
Day Six: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever).
Day Seven: Four turn offs.
Day Eight: Three turn ons.
Day Nine: Two smileys that describe your life right now.
Day Ten: One confession.
batskeets: (ken)
I'll bite, although I may not make it through to Day 10. ;)

Day One: Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now.

1. I once wrote that I envied how expressive you are with your feelings. I admire the strength that you must have to open yourself that way, and I try to follow your example a little more each day.

2. You're a person of greater depth than most give you credit for, and there's a reason why so many people are drawn to you.

3. I'm glad that you came into my life so unexpectedly, even if the timing was kind of awful. I trust you more than I probably have any right to, and I hope neither of us gets burned as a result of that.

4. You're a better person than you know, and I sometimes find myself missing you more than you'll ever miss me. I can't decide if it'd be harder to have you come back into my life, or to have you stay out of it.

5. I sometimes think a lot of your current persona is just bluster for the sake of protecting yourself. But, at the same time, it's hard not to feel a little plain and shy when I'm standing next to it.

6. I occasionally wonder what could happen with us, if we weren't quite so similar.

7. It kills me that I don't have the strength to be your friend right now, or possibly ever. Even years later, I still feel guilt when I think about how I hurt you.

8. It's pretty painful to see your confusion about why your life is the way it is, when so much of it is your own anxiety and pessimism bringing it upon you. I hope you can find a way to recover from all the undeserved negative reactions you got from others when you were young.

9. I'm not sure why we aren't closer, and it makes me sad, at times. But I'm happy to have you there, in whatever capacity we can give each other.

10. Things didn't end on the greatest note with us, but I've at least been able to learn from your mistakes, and that's wonderful. Hopefully, you'll be able to learn those lessons for yourself one day, too.


Day One: Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now.
Day Two: Nine things about yourself.
Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart.
Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.
Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done.
Day Six: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever).
Day Seven: Four turn offs.
Day Eight: Three turn ons.
Day Nine: Two smileys that describe your life right now.
Day Ten: One confession.
And now, five questions, courtesy of [livejournal.com profile] daemonwise :

1. When was the last time you were happily scared?
It had to be when we moved up to Portland in 2007. A large part of how the decision to move came about was because my roommates and I were essentially being kicked out of the house we'd been living in, so the owner could sell it. Things happened pretty quickly, and as excited as I was, there was also a lot of potential for terrifying results. What if I can't find a job? What if I don't make any friends? What if I end up on the street, juggling swords and weaving baskets to make ends meet?

But, all told, it was a blessing. I love this town and could be happy in it for a very, very long time. :)

2. How did you get into martial arts/Wushu?
My introduction to wushu was entirely the fault of [livejournal.com profile] junsiew . Our moms have been friends for years, and she's basically the awesome younger sister I never had, so when she came down to the UO for college, we wound up in the same Japanese language class, and spent a lot of time kicking around together on-campus.

She got pulled into the UO Wushu Club by another friend of hers, but the club was *much* smaller then: maybe half-a-dozen or so people would show up to train with any regularity, and she was often the only girl at practice. Of course, at the time, I tipped the scales at ~220 lbs. or so, and even in my thinner days, I'd never been anything even remotely resembling a natural athlete, so it sounded crazy to me. Still, after enough needling from her between classes, I finally caved and went to practice with her, in Fall of 2003.

Long story short, something about the beauty and challenge of the sport wormed its way into my brain, and I found myself at practice 3 times a week, 2+ hours at a time. It beat the hell out of me in ways I'd forgotten were possible, but it became something of an obsession, before long. And now, six-and-a-half years later, I'm *still* training regularly, and I have no intention of stopping.

3. How does your perception of yourself match your picture of everyone else’s perception of you?
Well, I don't think I have a particularly good sense of how others perceive me, I suppose. But for a long time, I'm pretty sure it didn't match, uh, at all. A lot of that was your garden-variety low-self-esteem sort of thing, but, being a somewhat-private person, I've always felt that there were layers to me that others weren't aware of.

One thing I do know about myself is that I'm most definitely the Stiff-Upper-Lip Girl. If something's bothering me, most folks are completely unaware of it at the time. I regularly have people tell me, "you seem completely fine," even when my universe feels as though it's caving in, and I'm actually working on breaking down this tendency, because I've historically done this to a fault.

I also came to hate the word, "shy," growing up, because it was often applied to me, and I felt that it said so little about who I really was. I'll admit that quiet, distant, awkward, and easily distractable was a frequent state of being for me, and it remains a natural state for me to this day, but "shy" never felt like the right word for that. People who've seen me act, or do karaoke, or wushu, or any of the random things I latch onto, know that I can be pretty darned loud and showboat-y, when I have a mind to.

Anyhoo, point being, I think that letting myself be more open is leading me towards a place where my self-perception might actually line up with how others see me, in the none-too-distant future. :)

4. Money, space, time, and hired talent (if need be) are no issue; tell me the business you’d be running at that point.
Wow. Well, in an ideal world, it'd be a creative collective of some sort, where I'd tap into the talents of the people I know and love (while being open to new ones, of course), and we'd bring our skills together for greater awesome. What the shape of that would be is... uh... not exactly clear. I'm not exactly a natural at entrepreneurial pursuits, however, so this is a tough question. For me, having my own business is at least as much about the relationships I build as it is about assets or products, and any business I run would have that as a major part of its mission statement.

5. What’s the most embarrassing thing (that you’re willing to share in a meme) that ended up going fantastically for you?
You know, I'm not sure I can think of anything embarrassing that ended in a fantastic way. Most of my embarrassing moments are just flat-out embarrassing. ;) I may edit this later, if anything comes to mind.

I'm not going to do the giving questions part of the meme, because I'm lazy. And I also have a lot of work to do. ;)

Meme

Jul. 20th, 2010 12:06 pm
Courtesy of [livejournal.com profile] theamazingjosh :

Partnership - I do like working with people... or at least, the right people. I'm pretty easygoing, so it's not hard for me to have at least a reasonably-functional partnership with a lot of people. I have, however, had the occasional bad experience, and they've basically taught me that I don't deal well with disorganized people who are poor communicators. I figure that's not an unreasonable thing to ask, though. ;)

My favorite partnerships are the kind where we can express ourselves freely, naturally bounce ideas back-and-forth, and then make them a reality. The follow-through is critical, but the sharing of the creative process can be so, so enjoyable. I love when someone comes along and gives me a new angle to consider when looking at a situation, because I do get mentally stuck, at times.

Trust - Oh, nelly. I have certainly accumulated some trust issues over the years. I'm not sure how much more I can say about that without *really* oversharing, but suffice it to say, trust is a Very Big Deal for me. My trust can be difficult to earn, but it's also pretty darned tough to break. I've been known to talk like a huge misanthrope, at times, but on a person-to-person level, I love to give people the benefit of the doubt. But, those who do manage to break my trust have rarely come back from it in any permanent sort of way.

Hand-to-hand Combat - This is funny to me, because I actually have very little experience in hand-to-hand, but I like to pretend. ;) I practice contemporary wushu, and a lot of folks assume that I can beat the crap out of them, but we actually do very little sparring, and mainly practice forms for performance. The up side of this is that I look pretty awesome when I'm pretending to beat people up. There are definitely martial applications behind the moves, but there's an element of flashiness in contemporary wushu forms that you wouldn't see in an actual fighting situation.

I *have* recently become more interested in gaining more practice at hand-to-hand skills, however, and have been idly tossing around the notion of studying muay thai. Note that I say, "idly," though, so it may be a while before I find the time and resources to actually do it.

Photography - Yeah, this is definitely a Thing I Do. It's not who I am, but it's a major player in my life, certainly. My major point of fascination is people, and I guess I like the challenge of a moving target, heh. A flower will stay put until I grab the perfect shot of it, but a person will not. And, well, I think I'm sort of in love with the notion of showing each person a part of themselves that they were previously blind to.

Friendship - Friendship has always been a big deal to me, but I haven't always handled it well. I've spent a lot of time in the past worrying about being perceived as a complainer, about being too emotionally high-maintenance, or too much of a burden, and I've come to realize that it has often kept others from sharing *their* burdens with me, no matter how willing I was to accept them. I am learning how to be more open again, and I think it's finally starting to help me build the kind of friendships I always wanted, but was too anxious or afraid to take on.

I pride myself on being a loyal and trustworthy friend, on not sharing secrets that shouldn't be shared, and on making my own judgments about the people I know and associate with. I'm lucky enough to have had truly amazing people in my life, and I don't know where I'd be without them. They've made the bad times bearable, and the good times amazing.

-----
NOW, you do it:
Reply to this meme by yelling "Words!" and I will give you five words that remind me of you. Then post them in your LJ and explain what they mean to you.


I'll give the same caveat he did: if you don't post/comment often, or we aren't close via chat/RL, please don't be bothered if my 5 words aren't the greatest fit. :)

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